{"id":363005,"date":"2022-09-23T09:00:04","date_gmt":"2022-09-23T15:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crestcom.com\/?p=363005"},"modified":"2022-09-22T16:30:57","modified_gmt":"2022-09-22T22:30:57","slug":"building-resilience-to-navigate-change-with-dr-steve-yacovelli","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crestcom.com\/blog\/2022\/09\/23\/building-resilience-to-navigate-change-with-dr-steve-yacovelli\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Resilience to Navigate Change with Dr. Steve Yacovelli"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"powerpress_player\" id=\"powerpress_player_7108\"><!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-363005-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/content.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/The_Leadership_Habit_Podcast-Season_4-Ep_31_with_Steve_Yacovelli.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/content.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/The_Leadership_Habit_Podcast-Season_4-Ep_31_with_Steve_Yacovelli.mp3\">https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/content.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/The_Leadership_Habit_Podcast-Season_4-Ep_31_with_Steve_Yacovelli.mp3<\/a><\/audio><\/div><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/content.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/The_Leadership_Habit_Podcast-Season_4-Ep_31_with_Steve_Yacovelli.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw('https:\/\/crestcom.com\/?powerpress_pinw=363005-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/content.blubrry.com\/leadershiphabit\/The_Leadership_Habit_Podcast-Season_4-Ep_31_with_Steve_Yacovelli.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_d\" title=\"Download\" rel=\"nofollow\" download=\"The_Leadership_Habit_Podcast-Season_4-Ep_31_with_Steve_Yacovelli.mp3\">Download<\/a><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_subscribe_links\">Subscribe: <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/5HfSiwCBm13zYMVH5fWnLz\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_spotify\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe on Spotify\" rel=\"nofollow\">Spotify<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/subscribebyemail.com\/crestcom.com\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe by Email\" rel=\"nofollow\">Email<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/crestcom.com\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_rss\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe via RSS\" rel=\"nofollow\">RSS<\/a><\/p><h2>Building Resilience to Navigate Change with Dr. Steve Yacovelli<\/h2>\n<p>Hi everyone. It\u2019s Jenn DeWall. And in this week\u2019s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, we are talking about building resilience! I feel like it\u2019s a message that so many of us need right now. And to have this conversation, I sat down with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/steveyacovelli\/\"><strong>Dr. Steve Yacovelli<\/strong><\/a>. And let me tell you a little bit more about Dr. Steve Yacovelli, who is also known as\u201cThe Gay Leadership Dude\u201d and is an expert in diversity and inclusion, change management and leadership, both in and outside of the workplace. He\u2019s worked internally for folks like the Walt Disney Company, IBM, Tupperware brands and several universities before starting his own consulting firm, TopDog Learning Group in 2008.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/topdoglearning.learnworlds.com\/\">TopDog Learning<\/a> works with Fortune 500 companies and not-for-profit organizations to bring about a more inclusive and effective workplace through onsite workshops, virtual or face-to-face keynotes, one-on-one coaching and so much more. And today, Dr. Steve and I are going to talk all about what you can do to build resilience, to navigate the uncertainty and the amount of change that we have in these uncertain times. Enjoy!<\/p>\n<h4><em>Full Transcript Below<\/em><\/h4>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Hello, Leadership Habit audience! So happy to be here today, talking about how to build resilience, something that I feel like everyone needs right now because the world feels heavy. There\u2019s a lot of change going on. A lot of uncertainty. And there\u2019s no better person to join this conversation right now than Dr. Steve Yacovelli. Dr. Steve Yacovelli. I am so happy. I\u2019m gonna call you Steve. Steve. I\u2019m so happy for you to join the podcast, especially to come and talk about what we can do because I don\u2019t know a person that does not need a little help right now in terms of resilience. So thank you so much for joining us on the show.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Happy to be here, Jenn. I think it\u2019s gonna be great.<\/p>\n<h2>Meet Dr. Steve Yacovelli, Owner of TopDog Learning Group<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Well, let\u2019s go ahead and level set. I mean, I love a basic intro story. I love the origin. So I would be curious, tell us about yourself. How did you come to be, how did you come to be where you are today and especially where did your interest in resilience even evolve?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 &lt;Laugh&gt; So hi everyone. Again, my name is Dr. Steve Yacovelli&#8211; Pronouns: He, him, his. I am the owner and principal <a href=\"https:\/\/topdoglearning.learnworlds.com\/\">of TopDog Learning Group<\/a>. I\u2019m also known as\u201cThe Gay Leadership Dude\u00ae,\u201d So you immediately know three things about me by using my self-proclaimed title. That I\u2019m gay &lt;laugh&gt; that I self-identify as a dude. And I really like to talk about leadership and mostly inclusive leadership and what that looks like. And it really started earlier in my career. I\u2019ve kind of always been in this space.<\/p>\n<p>I had the privilege of working at the Walt Disney Company for several years as an internal leadership consultant. UI worked at IBM, which is actually where I got introduced to the concept of change management and being resilient in times of change. So I did that for many years, and then I kind of moved. I was a professor for like a hot minute. That was not my jam &lt;laugh&gt;, but honestly. And then, I started TopDog Learning Group as my full-time gig after having it as a side hustle about 14 years ago.<\/p>\n<p>So I\u2019ve been in this space for quite a bit of time. And at TopDog, I like to say our doghouse sits in the center of three pretty different but complementary areas. We focus on leadership and organizational development, which kinda makes sense, a leadership dude. We look at diversity and inclusion and creating that sense of belonging in the workplace. And then, of course, we look at change management and being resilient in times of change. And we do one, if not all three of those areas, through a bunch of different ways, such as formal training workshops, we do coaching sessions, consulting, always just to help folks be even more successful than they already are.<\/p>\n<h2>Building Resilience in the Quiet Quitting Era<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Heck yes, you, I mean, you offer it all. It\u2019s a full-scale organization or group, which is what we need right now. We\u2019re going into resilience. And I\u2019m so happy that we\u2019re talking about this because whether it&#8217;s talking to my friends and feeling like I have so much going on right now at work, there are so many people quitting. So I\u2019ve had to absorb so much work. There\u2019s just the stress of how you even find people. How are we filling this? And will there be a light at the end of the tunnel of when this is gonna stop? And so I feel like I have a lot of friends going through overwhelm and burnout right now that are just ready to throw in the towel or wave the white flag.<\/p>\n<p>And then I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve seen this. We, you know, the quiet quitter, the buzz around there that we know people are quiet quitting right now, and their organizations are just kind of being there, doing the bare minimum and ready to leave. And I\u2019m curious too if some of those people actually don\u2019t want to quiet quit, but they actually need to learn how to be more resilient. I don\u2019t know what your thought on that is.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Well, you know what\u2019s, I mean, we are in, I hate this unprecedented times in that phrase, but that\u2019s true. And there\u2019s, you know, the human mind can only take so much change, and that\u2019s by definition what building resilience means is, you know, being able to adapt and change in changing times. And some people are pretty, pretty resilient, you know, with it. And, and we, of course, can. We\u2019ll talk about ways we can amp up our resiliency, but some people are just pretty good at it. They just roll with it. That\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n<p>But even the most resilient people, I mean, there\u2019s a lot, it\u2019s like a fire hose of change coming at folks, you know, between, like you said, you know, the environment my workspace people leaving now I\u2019m absorbing their, their workload or I&#8217;m just so checked out. Maybe I don\u2019t feel that sense of belonging in the workplace, which we talk a lot about at TopDog with, you know, diversity and inclusion and feeling like I\u2019m part of this group.<\/p>\n<p>And so a lot of folks are, are really starting to see this, this huge tidal wave of changes come at them. And some people either, they, they jump in and say, I got this. Or they\u2019re just like, Ooh, I\u2019m out the door, man. I\u2019m taking my toys and going elsewhere because it\u2019s so easy to do that now depending on your job, of course, but a lot of jobs that weren&#8217;t remote are now. And so I can sit here in Orlando, Florida, and work for a New York City big consulting firm, and I don\u2019t have to leave. And so, you know, it\u2019s really becoming a challenge for employers to keep those folks engaged because they can just go elsewhere. So, so easily if they get fed up<\/p>\n<h2>Is it the Great Resignation or The Great Running Away?<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Now. Okay. That brings up a question because I think that when I was earlier on in my career, oftentimes, you know, if I felt like I wasn\u2019t a good fit or it wasn\u2019t a great place for me, I feel like, then It\u2019s like, well, I can just find another job, but is that really just resilience? Or is that running like, what\u2019s the difference between being resilient and running from our problems?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli: It could be, it could be both. It could be absolutely both. &lt;Laugh&gt; you know, it, but I think that\u2019s, that\u2019s where people are starting to make some decisions. You know, we are also in a marketplace where it\u2019s not taboo to pick up your toys and go somewhere else after our couple years, you know, a generation ago. And probably just, just before me and actually probably even my generation, \u2019cause I\u2019m in my fifties now, but you know what, right. I know, yay. There\u2019s a lot of gasoline on this land here, but if we, you know, if we take a step back, I mean, you, if you jump jobs, even after like four years, you\u2019re like, Ooh, what\u2019s wrong with you?<\/p>\n<p>Where now, people expect to just hang out for a couple of years and learn what they wanna learn. And then they jump to the next job, and that\u2019s completely okay. And there\u2019s, you know, there\u2019s no stigma or taboo about it. So some folks the, you know, maybe they\u2019re running, but other folks are just like, you know what, this is what I went outta my job. And if I\u2019m not getting it, see, I\u2019m outta here.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 And I only say that because sometimes it might work as a coach. People would be like, well, I wanna go to grad school, and I wanna do this. And sometimes it&#8217;s because they were running because they, you know, didn\u2019t do the work on their own, like self to figure out, well, what is important to you? What do you want outta this? Because just jumping to the next thing isn\u2019t necessarily going to solve or alleviate some of those concerns. And so that\u2019s what brought it up because I think sometimes you might jump and find yourself in a different environment that maybe actually isn\u2019t as great as your last place.<\/p>\n<h2>Change Means Not Knowing What Will Happen<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Yes. And that\u2019s what we talk about. That\u2019s one of the reasons why, when you look at the concept of change management, overall, some people don\u2019t make those moves because of fear of the unknown. You know, which is one of the areas of resiliency. If, if you\u2019re comfortable with ambiguity, then you know you actually are more apt to make some of those changes during the times of change.<\/p>\n<p>But for some people, they\u2019re like, mm, the devil, I know, kind of mentality. And they\u2019re like, I don\u2019t want to, you know, move over there because I don\u2019t really know what that looks like. And that\u2019s, of course, a psychological thing from a safety mechanism, that\u2019s kind of in our little cave brains. So, you know, We don\u2019t make those moves because we don\u2019t know what\u2019s gonna happen, and that could be really unsafe, and that can make us feel icky and all those kinds of adjectives that you&#8217;ll add.<\/p>\n<h2>Why is Building Resilience Important?<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Yeah, absolutely. Well, let\u2019s level set. I mean, I already know that this conversation\u2019s great, or I hope it is for our audience because we\u2019re talking about, hopefully, some of the things that you might be thinking about in your brain, right? Resilience has so much to do with obviously our own mental mindsets that we have, and then ultimately the behaviors which create our outcomes, but let\u2019s level set. Like why does it pay, or why should they care? Why should someone really harness and deepen their skill sets or ability to manage resilience or to, I guess, understand how to be resilient?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Well, because change isn&#8217;t gonna stop. You know, the only constant is change is often quoted. It\u2019s Socrates, but there are some other folks who claim it as well. Yeah. And you know, it\u2019s, it\u2019s so true. And, and if you just look at the rate of change in society in, in, we\u2019ll just say in the workplace, but of course, it applies to the work society overall, the amount of change that&#8217;s happened is crazy. And, and it, and it&#8217;s not stopping.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, you know, there\u2019s the theory of I forget who is logged, I should know, but it\u2019s, it\u2019s the exponential ability for a computer processor. It\u2019s like every, every, every two and a half years or something like that, it like doubles and, and so change is happening quite quickly. And, and I think if you\u2019re going to be successful in the workplace, you need to be resilient because it\u2019s not gonna go down. It\u2019s only gonna increase.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: Yes. Oh my gosh. I wish that you and I could both name that theory cuz I actually wouldn\u2019t say That I\u2019m educated enough to actually define it. But what Dr. Steve Yacovelli is talking about is that there is going to be a prescribed notion of change, and businesses can use this formula to understand how to adapt and change their businesses to make sure they\u2019re relevant and successful. And it can also predict the future, which, which brings in, I think in the same thing, and maybe we\u2019re talking about it, we could have predicted the great resignation. It was already in the numbers that were there. This is not actually a big surprise.<\/p>\n<h2>Building Resilience in the Four Rooms of Change<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 No, &lt;laugh&gt; no, it\u2019s not. I think, you know, COVID just really exasperated the, it sped it up, I think quite a bit, but there really was this reckoning of what do I wanna get out of my work life, you know? And you really beautifully see this with folks who are, are, are just really entering or newer into their professional lives. And it\u2019s just like, I don\u2019t wanna be tied up to X, Y, Z company for the rest of my life, or, you know, they\u2019re really not fulfilling my soul, or I don\u2019t like what they&#8217;re doing. So boom, I can go to go elsewhere.<\/p>\n<p>I can maybe make those career changes because that&#8217;s, again, another resiliency opportunity. And I love that this is happening. I think it\u2019s fantastic. I think it, at the end of the day, people are gonna be hopefully happier with these different moves and ability to just really embrace the changes that happen<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Well. And as you said, people will be happier, and ultimately then, organizations should likely yield the benefit of that happiness. I know that it feels painful right now. I can only imagine. I\u2019ve seen it in a variety of ways, but ultimately if we\u2019re, we\u2019re supposed to be leveraging our strengths talents, you know, what\u2019s, we\u2019re passionate about happiness, but so let\u2019s get to the definition. How do you define, like, from your experience, how do you define resilience?<\/p>\n<h2>The Room of Contentment<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 So, you know, I happen to have slides because I teach this class &lt;laugh&gt;. So for the rest of you who are watching, you\u2019re benefiting from like my free class or a class that is now free for you all, but that\u2019s okay. So we talk about resilience and, and you know when we think about resilience, you actually have to really put it in the framework of change overall. And there are a lot of cool theories out there. My favorite is the four rooms of change or the change house by Klaus Jennsen, who I think is a Swiss psychologist. So basically, the idea is that you know, when change happens, we\u2019re all we\u2019re we go through these four rooms. And so the first room is the room of contentment. Did you ever see the Lego movie, Jenn?<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: I actually haven\u2019t.<\/p>\n<h2>The Dungeon of Denial<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Okay. For those who have, you\u2019ll know that there\u2019s a song that\u2019s kind of annoying. It goes: Everything is Awesome. And it\u2019s like played throughout the whole movie because that\u2019s the theme song to the room of contentment. Everything\u2019s awesome. We don\u2019t need to change. Everything\u2019s great. You know, it\u2019s kind of that the little proverbial head in the sand kind of ostrich thing. If we\u2019re so content and like ignoring everything, we\u2019re on like the little sun lounge, like just basking away, not really that not realizing that change should be happening. So something kind of gets us out of our, and then we\u2019re like, you know what change has to happen? You know? And we\u2019ll make this an organizational change. We\u2019ll say, you know, oh yeah, change has to happen because, you know, we need to update our technology.<\/p>\n<p>So then, you can go into what\u2019s called the room of denial, and that\u2019s just where some folks say, you know, no, that\u2019s not applied to us. We don\u2019t need to. We\u2019re perfectly fine. That\u2019s just for the competition to deal with. Some people get so locked into denial. They go into the dungeon of denial where they\u2019re just like shutting that door, LA LA, LA LA, like refusing to acknowledge that they have to make some change as an organization. Something happens.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: People I wanna ask, and people even live there right now, because how do you, like, I\u2019ve noticed organizations being forced out of denial because people are continuously leaving, and they\u2019re just hammering talent that you can\u2019t just pretend that what you\u2019re doing right now is effective. Well, like, I feel like people are being thrown out of denial right now. Even if they want to stay there.<\/p>\n<h2>The Ballroom of Confusion<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 &lt;Laugh&gt; I think that\u2019s, I think that\u2019s very true. I think, you know, some organizations, so let\u2019s take it about equity and justice, you know, when 2020 George Floyd, Black Lives Matter, you know, a lot of companies thought, this doesn&#8217;t apply to us. This doesn&#8217;t apply to us. We don&#8217;t need to create a more inclusive workplace. You know, this will pass over, this will blow by or no, &lt;laugh&gt; it didn&#8217;t. And it won&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>So that&#8217;s kind of where folks, you know, they finally acknowledge that, okay, \u00a0I can&#8217;t ignore this anymore. We do need to do something. And that\u2019s when you go to the room of confusion. And, and I, I jokingly say, if you\u2019re looking at the visuals, these four rooms look equal. They are not. The room of confusion is like a ballroom of confusion. It\u2019s massive. And that\u2019s where during a change process, a lot of folks kind of stick around, you know, confused\u2014what\u2019s going on here?<\/p>\n<h2>The Room of Renewal<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 What do we need to know? There are lots of question marks. We don\u2019t understand what, how we\u2019re gonna get this change done. And this is where for some folks, if the change is just overwhelming, there\u2019s an exit door in this particular room where some people are just like, I am out of here. I\u2019m not dealing with this change anymore. This is the folks who are low in resilience. And we\u2019ll talk about that in just a few moments.<\/p>\n<p>Some people get into what\u2019s called the Pit of paralysis, where they\u2019re just frozen. They know they have to change, but they don\u2019t know what to do. They\u2019re so shocked and confused that they just freeze. So something happens as, as time progresses, we learn things. We do things; communication strategy comes in here. And then we move to what\u2019s called the room of renewal, which is like, oh my gosh, why didn&#8217;t we do this change like five years ago?<\/p>\n<p>And, and so you, you acknowledge that the change happened or it\u2019s at about the end of the change. And like, yeah, we\u2019re much better off than we were before. And then I like to think between the room of renewal and the room of contentment, there\u2019s like this unknown little airport, you know, moving walkway that you don\u2019t realize you\u2019re on because you slowly go back from renewal to contentment. And so I, I bring this part up because, you know, that\u2019s kind of changed, but in the dead center, what gets us through the rooms is resilience. And the speed at which I move through those rooms can vary greatly between individual and individual.<\/p>\n<p>You know, some people who aren\u2019t resilient get stuck in that confusion room where others are just like shoop, And they go from contentment, denial, confusion, renewal. I got this. I\u2019m good. And that\u2019s why it\u2019s so important because according to at least this psychologist and this model, we have to go through all those rooms in order to get to that renewal, that success part, and that getting us through that in as quick and as painless manner as possible is individual resilience in times of change.<\/p>\n<h2>How Can Building Resilience Impact the Speed of Change?<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 So what impacts our speed, our ability to do it? Because I know that is it situational and, you know, meaning that I can go through it faster if I&#8217;ve seen it before. What impacts our speed in terms of going through the rooms? And for those that can&#8217;t see the visual, what you can see onSteve\u2019s screen is that it starts with contentment, goes to denial, then to confusion, then to renewal. And it\u2019s just this process. But what, yeah. What influences our speed or ability to be resilient?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Yeah. Fantastic question, Jenn. And so, you know, I like to think about it. There are a couple of things at play here. So I showed you one little house, and we were talking about one little change. Well, depending on where you&#8217;re sitting, you might have a whole cul-de-sac of little houses of change that you&#8217;re dealing with. And in one specific change, you might be in the room of confusion in another specific change, based upon the context and maybe your experience, and you might be in renewal, others. You\u2019re like, Nope, I\u2019m content. I don\u2019t even need to deal with this right now.<\/p>\n<p>And so change isn\u2019t like a one-house thing. Because there are so many changes happening, it could be my career. It could be my relationships. It could be the job I&#8217;m doing. It could be, you know, maybe I&#8217;m studying something or learning something new.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 And so what gets us through, and what gets us that comfort? I did a lot of research on this, you know, I didn\u2019t write the book on it, but I was creating a class for a client. I wanna say it was like maybe 10 years ago or so. And I just started gobbling up every resilience book I could. And it was like 22 of them that I ended up reading through. And it, I mean, like all these different theories, but then I started seeing a pattern and like, all these experts are recommending, oh, do this to increase your resiliency, do that to a do it.<\/p>\n<p>And, and so what I kind of found was there are the top three that I kept seeing over and over and over again. You know, about how to beef up your own resiliency in times of change. And so if I can, I\u2019ll share these with, with the group, because I think it\u2019s, as you think about building up your own resiliency, and you\u2019re like, where do I start with these three? Because these are what experts say really can help you move from that room of denial to that room of renewal in the least painful sort of way. So the first one is,<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Before we jump into these three strategies, I wanna acknowledge because what you just shared was I feel like a big piece that we all have multiple houses going on at the exact same time. And I think that really warrants that stat that I saw this year, that people&#8217;s ability to navigate change has dropped by 50%.<\/p>\n<p>So we have maybe, you know, let\u2019s even call it five houses in motion, right? Even though it might be more than that. So if you\u2019re listening to this and you\u2019re feeling burned out. Or you\u2019re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, no, that these are some of the things that are in play and give yourself some grace. And we\u2019re gonna go into the strategies shortly, but even just how you described it, that we basically could have like a small block of houses of change going on.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Yeah! A cul-de-sac!<\/p>\n<h2>Give Yourself Grace When Navigating Change<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 I think it\u2019s helpful for people to know that, to just know that there\u2019s a lot going on right now, give yourself some grace. There are reasons why you are tired and just feeling like hair, pulling moments. Like you\u2019re not getting it wrong. You haven\u2019t missed the playbook at life. I think that what you just shared there is so helpful to understand, you know, what\u2019s actually happening in our backyard or in our neighborhood. Maybe there\u2019s our neighborhood that we\u2019re in.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 We have a whole New York city of change happening<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: Seriously.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 No, I was gonna say, but like, I mean, just think about the pandemic. I mean, that was one house that every single one of us was thrown at, thrown at. We weren\u2019t even prepared for it. And then your individual work role that\u2019s a new house, you know, oh, now I\u2019m working remotely, or I have to go to this hybrid thing, boop-boop, new house built, and then you, oh, my family or my kids are now, you know, remote working or schooling and boop-boop, another house popped up.<\/p>\n<p>So yeah, it\u2019s a lot of change happening. And even the most resilient folks have had challenges this last, you know, couple of years. So I love that. You said, give yourself grace, absolutely give yourself grace. And sometimes acknowledge I\u2019m in confusion, and we\u2019ll take a break and take a breath and kind of go from there. And that\u2019s actually the third strategy that I saw worked pretty well, but the first one is having a positive perspective, having a positive attitude and, and, you know, I\u2019m a former Disney, people are just like, oh, whatever, Mickey, oh boy, you\u2019re great.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 No, I mean, it\u2019s the happiest place on earth. I like someone that helps teach that.<\/p>\n<h2>Building Resilience with Positive Thinking<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Right. Right. But when, when we, when experts say have a positive perspective, it\u2019s saying, you know what, even in that children\u2019s book,\u00a0 Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I used to love that as a kid. But even when we have those days where it\u2019s like, wow, that was a really crappy day, resilient people will say, you know what, but there are the things that went well for me today. And still being able to see that, that, that that silver lining, it\u2019s not the rose-colored glasses kind of thing, or I like to say ros\u00e8-colored glasses!<\/p>\n<p>But it\u2019s really being like, you know, it is what it is, and let\u2019s kind of take a breath and move forward. And, so folks who can harness that attitude, even with the most challenging days, are much more successful in times of change than others who don\u2019t. And, And it\u2019s things like, you know, just really seeing the value in the situation, you know, being okay with setbacks and learning from them, you know, really looking for that silver lining and that good, you know, that glass half full kind of mentality. That\u2019s the first strategy in order to be more resilient when change happens.<\/p>\n<h2>Being Positive Doesn&#8217;t Mean You Don&#8217;t Have Bad Days<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 And I love that for that as a starting point to really think about how do you wanna approach this. Because I mean, and maybe even the starting point is: \u00a0it\u2019s okay to feel discouraged, overwhelmed, all those things. You can\u2019t pitch a tent there. We\u2019re not, you know, we can\u2019t, we can build the house, but we can\u2019t keep the house there. We don\u2019t need to put cement, maybe some like iron siding on it. We don\u2019t need to have that. Yes. We can also choose the perspective of looking at it in a different way.<\/p>\n<p>And I say this as someone that I feel like lately, there\u2019s just been so much going on. I mean, I just had a relapse in my multiple sclerosis, so that\u2019s just so much uncertainty there. And, you know, I got a few rejections that obviously never feel good. Air conditioning just went out, like I can name it. And I know That I\u2019m just one of many people that have this constant state of like heavy and that we do have to find that starting point. I love that. How can we look at it in a different way? Yep. It doesn\u2019t have to define us. It doesn\u2019t have to limit us. Like how can we look at it in a way that helps us?<\/p>\n<h2>Rewire Your Brain for Positivity<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 What\u2019s fun, too, Jenn, is that psychologists have realized that we can actually wire our brains to see the positive, to see the bright spots. And there\u2019s a thing I teach in my classes, kind of share everybody, you know, at the end of the day, get out your phone or get out, journal whatever. And you identify the five things that went well for you during that day. And some days you\u2019re like five. That\u2019s easy. Some days you\u2019re like, I can\u2019t think of one. Yeah. Like, yay. My socks matched. Yay. Right.<\/p>\n<p>So when you, when you have those days, what you\u2019re actually doing is forcing your mind to look for those bright spots, especially when it was hard to find those. And it\u2019s the same concept of when you buy a car, and it could be a new car to you or a brand new car, and you drive it off the lot or wherever. And you\u2019re so excited, and you\u2019re like, wow, everybody has a Mini Cooper. What the heck?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not that, you know, everyone out and said; Steve has a mini. I have to be cool. I can, no, they, you have this heightened sense of awareness. And that\u2019s actually what you\u2019re doing with your mind. You\u2019re rewiring it to look for those bright spots. And, and they, they say that if you do this, what went well journal for about two to three months, depending on your starting point, you actually will start to rewire your brain for positivity. And so that\u2019s a little, little strategy to help folks.<\/p>\n<h2>Building Resilience Takes Practice<\/h2>\n<p>enn DeWall:\u00a0 I love that the neural pathways are starting to open those up new. I mean, I guess it\u2019s easy. I get it. Like if you\u2019re going through, I\u2019m trying to think of back in my twenties, when I would say I got my first big career failure, you know, didn\u2019t get the promotion. I thought I was, you know, super successful. I was successful. And then all of a sudden, I hit the pieces of, you know, kind of the personality pieces. And I really had to learn emotional intelligence, and heck, I started to, like, I was stuck.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn\u2019t get promoted, and I couldn&#8217;t even leave because they were paying for my master&#8217;s program. &lt;Laugh&gt; so I didn&#8217;t want to absorb that. Yeah. And it just really forced me to have to think, like, how can I do this differently? But yet it wasn\u2019t immediate because I went through that self-judgment place of like, what\u2019s wrong with me? Why, you know, everyone else somehow has it. Right. And I like this anecdote of just starting with a positive perspective, like that\u2019s a starting point and talking about how, if you do that over time and consistently, you will start to see more positive things.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Well, what I love, Jenn, is you just made a gorgeous segue into number two &lt;laugh&gt;, which<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: Let\u2019s do it!<\/p>\n<h2>A Healthy Self-Concept is Essential to Building Resilience<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli: This is actually having that healthy self-concept, having that self-esteem. And so, you know, with experts say that when I can look at my experience and, and know, what I\u2019m capable of doing also know that, you know what, I\u2019ve done this before. I will proudly say I&#8217;ve been fired from many jobs in the past. Some were budgetary, and some were, you know, oh, we ran out of the grant that was paying for your salary, Dr. Yacovelli, blah, blah.<\/p>\n<p>Some were my stupidity &lt;laugh&gt; and maybe making wrong choices that, you know, some in Florida&#8217;s right-to-work state &#8211; to this day, I have no idea to this day, many, many years later. Why? But what those experiences taught me is, you know, what I&#8217;ve been here before, a healthy self-concept. I can bring it to the next group, you know, a door closes that window opens and, and what can I do to kind of keep rolling with those punches?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 And, And it\u2019s you know, folks who have this healthy self-concept, don\u2019t feel like they\u2019re a victim of change when change comes happening. It\u2019s like, oh, woe is me. How do I do this? It\u2019s like, oh, okay. That stinks. Well, what are we gonna do about it? You know, because if we all think about it, we have been at low points already. And something happened that got us from that low point to that high point. Use that knowledge to say, I\u2019ve been here before, I\u2019ll probably be here again, and I can do this. I can move up and have that healthy self-concept. I\u2019m not a victim when change comes.<\/p>\n<h2>Learning to Validate Yourself for a Healthy Self-Concept<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: I like that perspective because the self-concept, I think, you know, it\u2019s really easy. And maybe the work that, or how I like to think about it, is so many of us are conditioned to rely on that external validation of someone else telling us whether we\u2019re getting it right. Whether we\u2019re doing enough, whether we\u2019re a good person and, you know, looking at resilience, like that\u2019s learning how to internally validate yourself. Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Knowing that we, you know, focus on what you can control. Like, as you were talking about some of your rejections and, and firings, you know, right. Like I\u2019ve been rejected because of this word on the back of my screen. People said I don\u2019t like that. You have love. And I don\u2019t think, yeah, I know. And I was like, really, this is now a polarizing thing. And I can&#8217;t do anything about that. And I don\u2019t get me wrong at first.<\/p>\n<p>Like, I was really upset because I\u2019ve gotten, you know, feedback like Jenn, you wore jeans, what? And men can do it, but you can\u2019t do it. And I, you know, it\u2019s frustrating, but you have to be able to pull up. And I was, was talking to a mentor today about this recent rejection. Because obviously, it hit me hard, and you know, they had shared with me like she was rejected from things because she had too big of hair!<\/p>\n<p>And I listened to it, even in my workplace, like in my former workplace people, I had peers that were told like, Hey, if you wanna get promoted, lose 15 pounds. Hey, if you wanna get promoted, make sure you don\u2019t wear leggings with this. Hey, you wanna get promoted? Make sure you look more like this person. Yep. And so these things are happening in today\u2019s workplace. Yeah. But all of those examples are trying to modify yourself to someone else, like how that do you PR or how do you practice your own self-love, Dr. Steve? How do you do that?<\/p>\n<h2>Don\u2019t Spend Your Energy On Negative People<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Well, you know, I mean, I\u2019m a bit older now. You know, and I just realized that when people challenge me to not be my authentic self at work or, or clients or wherever\u2014 that\u2019s a relationship that\u2019s not meant to be. And I just say you know what, for every one of you who doesn\u2019t want me to, you know, put \u201cThe Gay Leadership Dude\u201d out there, for example, there are 20 others who do and honor that and value that and make that sense of belonging for me as a, as an external vendor.<\/p>\n<p>And so I\u2019ve just learned that, you know, there\u2019s a lot more of folks who will appreciate that love that\u2019s behind you than there are who don\u2019t. And so let\u2019s channel our energy toward working and being with those relationships in a workplace, as well as a friendly place with those types of people than wasting our time on, on the other. I was just saying to one of my coaches the other day, you know, she was, she was having something very similar, and I said, you know, Pareto\u2019s parental principle.<\/p>\n<p>And she\u2019s like, no, like the 80\/20 rule. I said, don\u2019t spend 80% of your energy trying to move the 20% of the people who don\u2019t like you! That\u2019s\u2014 it\u2019s just a waste. Channel that 80% of your energy on the 80% of the people who do love you, who do wanna work with you, who do value you as a leader and forget those outliers. And she\u2019s like, thank you. I\u2019m like, yes, because we all do that.<\/p>\n<p>You know, I know standing in front of a training room when we could do such things or you even virtually, and you know, I would find myself really focusing my energy on the person who was totally \u201cvoluntold\u201d to be my session. You know, their hands are crossed. They don\u2019t wanna be there. And I\u2019m like, stop. I\u2019m just gonna look at the learners who are totally engaging and getting it. And they\u2019re throwing me the love. I\u2019ll throw it right back at them to heck with the people who are just tourists in my class. And it\u2019s, it\u2019s wonderful. It\u2019s a very freeing feeling.<\/p>\n<h2>Don\u2019t Create a Confidence Hangover<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: I love that. And I mean, you just reminded me of something that maybe will be helpful to some of the people listening. If you\u2019re going through change, maybe you are changing a job and moving from one industry to the next new company to the next. Just remember your ability to be resilient. Sometimes we\u2019ve gotta let go of some of that feedback that might have happened in that past job and not use it to limit who we\u2019re gonna be in this next job or don\u2019t create a confidence hangover.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know if it will help someone because I remember for years after not getting that promotion, it took me, after leaving that company, probably a good two to three years to actually feel like I had value. I constantly kind of told myself, well, because that company didn\u2019t think that I had value or they didn\u2019t move me up, then I\u2019ll never be this. Right. Right. And like, so maybe, you know, if you\u2019re going through something similar, you are amazing. You are fantastic! Honor who you are and discard the stuff that doesn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n<h2>Build Resilience by Getting Comfortable with Ambiguity<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Absolutely. And, and that\u2019s, that\u2019s kind of the third strategy that, that really helps build resilience is getting comfortable with that uncertainty, that ambiguity, those big giant question marks that are out there. And, when you think about why most people hate change, this is the reason why. They\u2019re not comfortable with those big question marks that are out there.<\/p>\n<p>And, and you know, we\u2019re, that\u2019s a wiring thing from us, you know, that\u2019s our little, our cave mind self-preservation and safety thing happening like, oh the devil I don\u2019t know, kind of mentality that we talked about earlier, but it\u2019s really thinking through with when it\u2019s ambiguous, or there are uncertain things that you&#8217;re able to kind of organize information as quickly as when you get it, you really can start to see those patterns of what\u2019s happening and just really be okay with those, those unknowns that happen.<\/p>\n<p>Especially in times of change, we didn\u2019t know what the workplace was gonna be like. As we got to the end of 2020, and even into 2021, you know, you might be in your workplace now, and people are coming back, or now it\u2019s a hybrid, or maybe, maybe your workplace went a hundred percent remote going forward. And, And it\u2019s like, what does this look like? Being able to get comfortable with that is one of the best ways to really amp up your resiliency.<\/p>\n<h2><em>Don&#8217;t Worry About the Weather, Learn to Dance in the Rain<\/em><\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0And I love to end this part with this quote about that uncertainty: \u00a0<em>don\u2019t be consumed worrying about the weather; instead, spend your time learning to dance in the rain<\/em>. Some unknown person said that, but I absolutely love that. Because we tend to focus our energy on the things we have no control over whatsoever. So channel it to the things you can either control or at least influence. And don\u2019t worry about the weather, it&#8217;s gonna happen, whether you like it or not, learn how to dance in that rain.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall: Yeah. I mean the ebb and flows of life. I wanna go back to even one of the subpoints that were on your last slide, which is finding order in the chaos. Mm-Hmm &lt;affirmative&gt; like what would be any tips that you have to find order? I know that there are definitely people that are like, what do you mean everything is just working against me right now? Like how can you even start to find order in that?<\/p>\n<h2>Finding Order in the Chaos<\/h2>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Know, if, if you are struggling to find the order yourself, this is where having someone else be a thinking partner can come into play because, you know, the diversity of perspective and diversity of thought, they might be able to see things that you\u2019re not. And, and, and this is where if, you know if you focus from a workplace perspective, have the team start to help you have that work spouse.<\/p>\n<p>If you have one, start to help you see those different patterns of behavior because the more divergent our perspectives are, the more we\u2019re gonna see stuff. And so you know, as you start to think about the patterns of what\u2019s happening, if you\u2019re not seeing them yourself, leverage someone else to help you, and then you kind of do the same for them.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 I love that. Just the reciprocal trade of let\u2019s brainstorm, let\u2019s look at our lives, and that\u2019s why people get coaches, right? So they can broaden that perspective to see what\u2019s working and what\u2019s not. What potentially could be changed? Or what faulty information are we using to observe our life? Right. Because I know I have a, I had full of head trash &lt;laugh&gt; any final tips that you would share with our audience as it relates to building resilience?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 You know, I would actually go back to what you had already said, Jenn. And that\u2019s usually my, and my last point is yeah. Have patience with yourself, give yourself grace, take a step, take a breath and really be like, you know what? You got this. It might be bumpy, and that\u2019s totally fine, but you have done this before. You will go through it again. You\u2019ve succeeded in the past; know that you got this, and you\u2019ll be okay.<\/p>\n<h2>Where to Find More From Dr. Steve Yacovelli<\/h2>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 I love that. I mean, we all need that reminder! Dr. Steve Yacovelli, I loved our conversation. How can our audience get in touch with you?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 The easiest way to get ahold of us is to head to our website, which is, of course, <a href=\"https:\/\/topdoglearning.learnworlds.com\/\">TopDogLearning.biz<\/a>, that\u2019s B-I-Z. There, you can find out all about our leadership programs and our resiliency programs, see about all my books, and meet my Top Dogs, my team. And also, get in touch with us and look at our blog for some free stuff.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Fantastic. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you for dropping the knowledge. I know that people need this right now. So thank you so much for just donating your time to share your expertise in the subject.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Steve Yacovelli:\u00a0 Of course. Thank you so much for this.<\/p>\n<p>Jenn DeWall:\u00a0 Thank you so much for listening to this week\u2019s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast. If you want to learn more about Dr. Steve Yacovelli, or building resilience, you can head on over to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/topdoglearning.learnworlds.com\/\">TopDogLearning.biz<\/a><\/strong>. And, of course, if you know someone that could benefit from hearing this message to be more resilient, share this episode with them. We want to make sure that they feel that they\u2019re not alone and that they have the tools to succeed.<\/p>\n<p>And if you\u2019re looking for more tools to succeed, head on over to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/crestcom.com\/\">Crestcom.com<\/a><\/strong>. We offer <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/crestcom.com\/training-programs\/bullet-proof-manager\/\">a comprehensive leadership development program<\/a><\/strong> that\u2019s focused on converting and developing your leaders into effective people, leaders, not just managers. We would love to talk to you or even offer a two-hour complimentary leadership skills workshop. So thank you so much to everyone for participating, for listening and heck, just showing it for yourself today. I\u2019ll see you next time.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Building Resilience to Navigate Change with Dr. Steve Yacovelli Hi everyone. It\u2019s Jenn DeWall. And in this week\u2019s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, we are talking about building resilience! I feel like it\u2019s a message that so many of us need right now. And to have this conversation, I sat down with Dr. Steve [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":363007,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[216,199],"tags":[223,338,164,374,152],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Building Resilience to Navigate Change with Dr. Steve Yacovelli<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In this episode, we talk with Dr. Steve Yacovelli about building resilience to better navigate times of rapid change!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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