Solving Problems Through Faith, Family, Fitness and Finance with Preston Brown
Hi everyone. It’s Jenn DeWall. And in this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit Podcast, I sat down with Preston Brown to talk about how to solve your problems. Now, let me tell you a little bit more about Preston Brown. Preston is a speaker and entrepreneur and a multiple eight-figure business owner specializing in disruptive innovation and profitability scaling companies. Preston has 18– that’s 18 successful automated operating businesses with gross revenues of over $180 million. He is an expert in finance business and psychology and has advised hundreds of CEOs and entrepreneurs on how to grow scale and optimize their companies. But today, Preston and I are going to be talking about how to solve your problems.
Full Transcript Below
Jenn DeWall: Hi, everyone. It’s Jenn DeWall. And today on The Leadership Habit Podcast, we’re sitting down with Preston Brown to talk about how to solve your problems. Preston, thank you so much for joining us on this show. My mind even, I mean, to our audience, if you have not met a or met Preston heard of Preston Brown, not only does a phenomenal track record that you just heard about in our earlier bumper but just the idea, sharing the inspiration and enthusiasm that he has. My mind is blown over the last 30 minutes. I wish we could almost have recorded that conversation, but here we go. We’re gonna do it for you now. Preston, thank you so much for joining us on the show. It’s so great to have you.
Preston Brown: Jenn, it’s an honor. I’m I’m thrilled to be here.
Jenn DeWall: All right. So now we have to let the audience in on the secret of Preston Brown. Please go ahead and tell us a little bit more about you because you own multiple businesses. You’re highly successful. You’ve got so much knowledge that you can drop, but let’s talk about your background. Tell us about yourself, Preston.
Preston Brown: Let’s see. So me, I’m everybody judges a story by the end, everybody looks for the story and they’re like, Hey, you know, here’s another rich guy. Some a-hole that’s out there doing this, that and the other. And they look at the story and they see the ending and they judge it. So rather than kind go into the story or all the businesses or the money or any of that stuff, the different airplanes, I’m gonna give you the beginning and I’m gonna give you like what my purpose is. And then we can go into all the other things that may be related to cause money and success. It orbits purpose. If that makes sense. So I’m gonna give you the, the beginning story that if that’s alright.
Jenn DeWall: Yeah.
Meet Preston Brown, Entrepreneur
Preston Brown: When I was seven years old, I grew up in a little town called Canutillo, Texas outside of El Paso, Texas. And we grew up in a tiny little trailer home. And, you know, lots of love in the family, not a lot of money. We were not destitute, but I mean, we were definitely poverty level. I mean, I do remember there wasn’t a tremendous amount of food. So this is kind a story about one of those times. My dad was a brilliant man. An engineer-minded person. He wanted to set the family free. So he decided he was like, I’m gonna open my own business and went to work for himself in a shed out beside our home. I remember it was an El Paso summer and we get very, you know, critically bad heat waves here. So we stole an air conditioner to put in his ship.
Like, I probably shouldn’t tell that part, but we literally stole it. We didn’t want him to die out there, right? My dad was a phenomenal craftsman, beautiful. But he didn’t know the fundamentals of the business that are importnat. And what, what wound up happening, what wound up going on was, you know, three or four months in my mom lost her job. And as things do in poor families, the, the financial stress showed up and the fighting came. I remember the, the cast iron frying getting thrown across the, and I remember looking there and seeing my mom and my dad, like literally my two favorite people on the planet, you know, my heroes, I guess like talking and I don’t remembering, they said, but I remember the fry on the, across the room. And I remember my mom can feed his family. And if you can’t, don’t come home. It was a lot for me. And I got be the charity piece, because I’d never seen this. Like we had a tremendous amount of love and this has never happened.
So I’d never realized what effect resources could have on a person. And I got in my dad’s old truck and we drove up the hill and up not far from where I live now and one of the much nicer neighborhoods in town and my dad, all, all six foot, four of them walked up to this guy that was about five, nine. My dad was that star football player, shoulders. Like he badass, right? I knew what was going to happen, he was going to go up to this guy and get our money from this guy. But that’s not what happened. We were, my, my dad went from demanding to asking to begging. And I watched this little weasel of a man just destroy, like literally to, and you know, my, my dad true to his word to my mom, he collected some money that night. He collected a fraction, what he was owed and he made the decision to give up on his dreams that night.
We drove to the local Smith’s grocery store. I got to ride home with one of those big boxes of ramen noodles. My dad gave up on his financial dreams. His business locked up his little shed and went to work and worked as an employee for the rest of his life. But he chose to stay my father. And so while I’m very grateful that, you know, he chose to stay there before seven years old. I didn’t even know what hatred was. And I hated a man that I’ve never met, who had manipulated my dad for money. Like that was the first time that I never hated somebody or thought, man, I could kill that person. Like I absolutely hate that person because he destroyed my dad.
How Preston Started Solving Problems
Preston Brown: And this turned me into a corporate machine. Like I would go into industries. I have 18 different companies and I coached people across hundreds of different businesses in different industries. And I became this corporate machine. Like, I mean, I could go into an industry, figure out what did the customers want? How did I go get it? How do I give it to ’em and how do I do it better, anyone else? And I would shut competitors down. And where this took me was to, you know, I wasn’t going out and telling my story. You can tell about me, giant head, tiny shoulders. I’m the typical nerd, right? But if a lion doesn’t tell his story, the hunter will. So guess what my competitors were saying? They were not saying beautiful things about me. And they were like, oh, that’s Hey, oh, that guy’s, this that’s. And I didn’t care. I was, I was corporate. I was, I was solving my dad’s wound. I was turning my dad’s wound into a scar around money. I was never gonna let money be my God, but it kind of became my God through a back door. Because I became just a corporate, angry, transactional son of a gun, the guy that everybody talked about. And I got rich, I became worth several million, five, 10, 15 million, and had lots of businesses and everything was going right. In 2019 my dad sat in his favorite chair and went to sleep and he didn’t wake up.
It was a life changing moment for me because there was nothing I could do about it. There was no transaction I could make to solve it. My mom always used to say, when I was young, everybody has a game. Find out the game and to figure out how to win, learn the game, learn to play until you win. There wasn’t a game. It was my first time losing love. And it was a beautiful moment because it taught me that, you know, money was not the meaning of life. Resource accumulation is not the meaning of life. It’s love, it’s the meaning of life. And so my dad created the worst day of my life and he also created the best day of my life. The worst day of my life. And the best day of my life were the same day. It was the day that he taught me the most important lesson, the day that he passed.
Money Can’t Solve Problems
Preston Brown: And that that lesson came in the form, learning about expectations. Expectations are the mother of all suffering. All of the suffering I had when he left was there not because he was gone, but was there cuz I expected him to still be here. And that was the best transfer of action or teaching I ever received in life from my father. He absolutely gifted me the most beautiful understanding that money and transactions and everything, the real lesson I was supposed to learn on that day. When I was seven, he made the right choice. He chose love over money. Now it doesn’t mean you can’t have both. And luckily I went through that part of the journey, that corporate journey and I learned how to accumulate the money. But money is not the meaning of life. It’s the resource that that can compound and amplify life’. And here where it’s beautiful. If you have no money and a jerk, no one will know. If you have ton of money and you a jerk, you are Hitler. Lots of resources, lots of power you name will be remembered in history.
You have lots of resources, lots of ability. You could be Gandhi. You could be the person out there speaking belief, speaking, helping somebody, building things. And, and so money’s an amplifier, not a reason. And my journey was there. Hopefully not just to teach me, but my purpose now is to teach others that there’s four courses you experience faith, family, fitness, and finance. And while finance is definitely the, the smallest of these four things, they’re all tethered to one another. So while we’re all out there seeking resources, if you’re having an issue with faith or family, you have an anchor here, you can’t progress because they’re tethered to one another and progress equal happiness. And so that’s the story where I had to learn over, you know, now I guess 40 year journey, what the real meaning of life was and how to really solve problems by removing anchors. And they weren’t necessarily the core that I thought they were, I was chasing the money problem. And it was always a love problem. I was always,
Jenn DeWall: When you say anchors, you mean the anchors of the, of faith, family, fitness finance, or kind of just like the wrong things. When you say anchors? I think just the resources. I know that, but maybe prioritizing them in a wrong way and not putting them in equal importance. Tell me a little bit more about that.
Faith, Family, Fitness & Finance are the Key to Solving Problems
Preston Brown: Sure. I spent 15 years chasing money in my own business. It’s more than that because as a kid I was selling lemon juices door to door selling things. I was always the top selling like Cub Scout or whatever. But in my business now. Well, all of that time was working towards developing resources and there was always that core pain moment from seven years old, when my dad gave up his dreams. Was I’m really chasing money or was I chasing a solution to the problem that hit me when I was seven years old? If we look at faith, family, fitness, finance, my hero got hurt– family issue while I was chasing finance. Here’s the craziest thing. I got some finances. I was worth 10 or 15 million. You know, nowadays I’ve healed that wound. That’s a scar. And my net worth is no longer 10 or 15 million. Like I have several companies that pay me 10, 15 million a year. Like, so if I sold that company, my net worth has compounded dramatically by removing an anchor. My anchor was my pain. My problem was I needed to heal the wound that my dad had when I was seven years old, when somebody cheated him for money. And I built a belief in a model of a world around not ever being cheated for money and a new identity around control. And, and am I going too fast?
Jenn DeWall: Well, I love this because if we’re thinking about how to solve problems, it is anchoring and checking in on what are the limiting beliefs or the rules or the pains that are kind of present in our subconscious that we may not realize that are dictating or driving or creating obstacles to today’s problems that we might not be aware of. And so I know it’s a little conceptual, right? That we have to be mindful of how we picked up these beliefs. But if you’re not aware of them, then you are chasing the wrong thing. So when you say how to solve your problems is, and what I’m pulling back from this is that, you know, between faith, family, fitness and finance, that if you’re just focusing on one or if one of them is broken, like you’re not going to be able to move forward or progress. Is that right?
Preston Brown: Yeah, exactly.
Jenn DeWall: Yeah. So where do you start? So if, if I have a problem of, oh my gosh, let’s say that like, maybe I want to be more successful in my life and we’re going to apply and really understand the significance of these four things. What does faith mean to you? And how do you think people can develop and build that?
Faith is Like Energy
Preston Brown: Ooh, such good questions. So faith is energy. Okay. We cannot pour from an empty cup. Every guru out there, from what I hear is seeming to say the same words. You gotta hustle your way to success, hustle, hustle, hustle. Okay. This is such a line. When you hustle nonstop, you get exhausted. When you get exhausted, you empty. You are emotionally drained. If you are pouring from an empty cup, you are quenching nobody’s thirst. OK. Now hustle is not a complete lie, but the best lie the devil ever told was seeded with an ounce of truth. Right? So we have to stop going with just that. Let’s look at the whole process. How do we get to hustle? The first thing you need is passion. OK. And I’m gonna give you an authentic, but maybe politically incorrect example. Can I do that?
Jenn DeWall: All right. Yes. Yes. You can do that.
Solving Problems is Transactional
Preston Brown: <Laugh> when my wife walks into the bedroom wearing lingerie, there’s not one part of me that says I better hustle. I better figure this out. None of me needs to do that. There’s passion. I’m in love with this woman. She is my soul mate. She’s absolutely my heart and soul. I am excited. She’s there. I don’t even have to think about hustle. Passion is cause. Hustle is effect. Okay. So then you start getting a success. Well, faith, it’s just energy in. We always hear people say, if, if, if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. Well, if you love, there’s also passion, right? What is a sale? A sale is a solution to a problem that somebody has. They pay you to solve a problem. If you’re passionate about solving that problem, then it’s easy for you to sell it.
It’s easy for you to sell the solution because you would’ve done it for free. In fact, most real successful people that I know. And I’m, I’m not talking about the fake Insta famous ones that pretend and go borrow somebody’s freaking car and take pictures. I’m talking about really successful people. They innovate something amazing. And, by innovate something amazing. It could just be a different process. Or if I’m talking to people, it could be in a normal industry, but maybe they explain their product better than somebody else. It doesn’t have to be like crazy innovation. Like they invented Google. Okay. They innovate something amazing around whatever they do, whether they’re a real estate agent, whether they’re an investor, whether they build this or that or whatever widget. OK. And then they love doing it so much that people enjoyed the experience of having them do it.
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Preston Brown: Like I know a gal that was so good at massage. She’s not certified as a masseuse, but she was so good at it. She could actually help anyone that now she is probably the most high priced masseuse in her market. Not because not because she went to this school or got this training. She loved helping people. And like, if they, if they had neck pain or this side or the other, she could show up and in five minutes you didn’t have neck pain. Cuz she knew how this muscle worked with this muscle and she’d come in and she’d hit it and she’d find out which one was tension and which one was not. And this, that, and the other, she work out and solve it because she was passionate about, she loved it. Well, she did that for free for a very long time. And then people started saying, well, no, no I need you. Well guess what? The ones that said I need you were willing to pay for the service. Guess who she enjoyed working for more? The ones that paid, or the ones that didn’t? Like, like Jenn, are you married?
Jenn DeWall: Yes.
Preston Brown: Okay. When you kiss your husband, do you want him to kiss back or just stand there? Like a bump on a log?
Jenn DeWall: <Laugh> I–
Preston Brown: There’s there’s a paradox. Like give you a love paradox. Right? Cause we’re all looking for unconditional love and, and it fits in business if fits in business. Okay. You know, I’ve heard the guru say, you know, conditional love is horse trading. It’s prostitution. It’s transactional. What’s a transaction? It’s a transfer of action. Oh wow. So you mean like our conversation is a transfer of action. You mean every human experience where us social animals communicate and collaborate with one another we’re transferring action or transacting. Oh gosh. Okay. So you are married and you want unconditional love your marriage, right?
Jenn DeWall: Yeah.
Preston Brown: So were there vows?
Jenn DeWall: Absolutely.
Preston Brown: Are vows conditions?
Jenn DeWall: Well.
Preston Brown: They are. Is not a bad thing. Anything that demonizes owns us. Okay. Having a transactional relationship. Like, Hey dude, like if we’re to get married, it’s still death to us part. Fair enough. Yes. Yeah. Okay. And, and you’re gonna be with only me. Fair enough. Okay. Right. So we’ve set conditions. Now how much do we love someone? You can love someone and it is measurable as much as you’re willing to suffer for. So I’ll give I don’t killing. I have no interest in dying. As long as I can. If somebody walked in to hurt my children, I would break my beliefs and my conditions and I would kill that person. I love them beyond my conditions. That’s what unconditional love means. So what’s the difference then if we’ve just disproved the transactional negativity on that, between unconditional and conditional, it’s an expectation of reciprocation. So back to my missus friend, when she was helping somebody say she’s helping somebody, she was transferring action from her to them.
She’s creating in effect a line. There’s beginning here. This is the ending here. Do you know what happened? When the first person paid her, that line turned into a circle, there was a reciprocation, a circle has no ending. Oh my gosh, there’s a paradox here. You know, it’s so funny anywhere where there’s a paradox there’s truth. Can God create a rock so big he cannot lift it? Uh-huh and Unh-unh. But he can make it because he’s God or she’s God, whatever we wanna say. Right? So like let’s, let’s look at that. The paradox of giving and givers game, we all know givers game, but the paradox is getting is it’s more fun to give to people that reciprocate you can give unconditionally. And if people see you feel, you sense your authenticity. They’re like, I want more of that. I’m gonna reciprocate. And then all of a sudden you have to value your time and you know where you’re gonna value your time with the people that value you the most. Yeah. So this, this paradox of, Hey, anything I’m doing exceptionally, that I would do for free that I’m really passionate about, about helping people and other people paying me. Oh gosh, okay. I’ll take that feedback and I’ll go work more with them more with them more with them more with them. Most people have five or 10 huge opportunities lying in front of them, but they have so many beliefs laying with blame. They never look at the opportunities. Do you know what blame is?
Shame and Blame Can’t Solve Problems
Jenn DeWall: I mean, I look at it as like shame or self-judgment or judgment for others,
Preston Brown: But it’s, here’s what it is. It’s an acronym. Being lazy and making excuses. The only thing that will ever set a human being free is the truth, which means you need data and information. Break apart the word information in formation. Thoughts can become things. That is how we form something. We get the data, we get the information, she got a feedback loop that people were giving her money because she was helping them. And now this unlicensed, masseuse helps more people, all the educated people do at higher prices. Like if I wanted her to come to my office today at probably 300, because she’s always booked,
Jenn DeWall: Wow. That’s so really coming back down to ike passion, faith, like how can we find what that purpose is? Or how can we give, how can we do that? But I also like the rewiring of the thoughts. That’s something that I think is so important. I think a lot of people don’t realize I like the blame, even though I forgot what being lazy and making excuses.
Preston Brown: Yeah, you got it!
To Solve Problems, We Have to Remember We Have Choices
Jenn DeWall: It. There we go. Got it. But, but because there is that like right within coaching, I feel like we have a choice and I know that this is gonna feel hard for some people to hear that. But we do get to choose. We have the opportunity to choose our thoughts, understand what’s really going on in there and rewrite that truth. And if you’re not choosing that, and if you’re living in blame of everything, the world is against you, then yeah. You’re not looking for your opportunities to change the situation. And there’s a level of accountability that people need to have and face. And I know that’s hard. It’s easier to blame, but like what can we do? Like that’s, that’s the way of motion forward.
Preston Brown: Okay. So here here’s you want me to give you like a guarantee? I’ll give
Jenn DeWall: Give me a guarantee!
Preston Brown: Everybody watching your podcast gets a million dollars worth of information in the next few minutes. Because I believe facts do tell stories sell, and everybody, if hear, they’re not gonna understand this. But before we go into that, what do we do? How do we remove blame? And if there’s four cores to kind tie everything together, cause you gotta tie together like faith, family, fitness, finance. What if there was blame here in family? Could that affect me here in finance? Well, yes, it progress equals happy. Your anchoring, your anchoring, and family. These are tell one another. They may not be the same thing, but you live in the same skin. All these four things matter to you. They’re all tethered to one another. The single greatest anchor is going to prevent you. So how do we remove blame? Not even necessarily in the area it’s in, how do we live on purpose and what is living on purpose? It’s using the energy in motion that we have to create lasting passion. And let me compound that a little bit. Have you ever been angry?
Jenn DeWall: <Laugh> of course.
Preston Brown: Would you choose that emotion?
Jenn DeWall: No.
Preston Brown: So if you wouldn’t choose the emotion and we know we have a conscious mind and we could probably all agree that consciousness is what makes human beings human and you wouldn’t choose the emotion of anger. Then there was probably what’s called a subconscious pattern. Something that triggered you, that led you to the anger. Is that fair for the scientific method to get to anger?
Jenn DeWall: Absolutely.
Preston Brown: So then if consciousness makes us human subconsciousness, subhuman,
Jenn DeWall: I mean, I don’t think it’s subhuman. Like <laugh>
Negative Feelings are an Indicator You Have a Problem to Solve
Preston Brown: I’m saying these as trigger statements for a reason. Okay. Because you wouldn’t have chose anger. So what’s the purpose. So the anger, the anger’s there to be indicator the pain’s there to be an indicator. The stress is there to be an indicator. It’s saying there’s something to solve. Not saying stay here.
Jenn DeWall: Yeah.
Preston Brown: Time to get into a trigger point. Like if you’re not in consciousness, because there’s a trigger that’s so loud that pulls you out of your decision-making conscious ability into a subconscious trigger space, then you’re no longer human because you’re no longer conscious. You’re literally the robot in the pattern. Does that make sense?
Jenn DeWall: You’re also, yeah. You’re living on autopilot. You’re just Def like, it’s kind of thinking that like everything is happening to you. We’re not paying attention to what our triggers are and how that conscious to subconscious in info or I guess action information is there. Or I like to look at it as like our under stress self versus our stressed self of when we feel like the world might be spinning, versus when we feel more calm and able to see things clearer like that. Yeah. My default response for a lot of things can be frustration and anger, but I try to regulate that by being aware of my triggers. <Laugh>
Preston Brown: You’re gonna love this story cause it’s gonna help you be aware of the triggers, but the triggers come from all four areas, like what is stress? Could, could we root it to a biochemical called cortisol in the body?
Jenn DeWall: I mean, isn’t that what everyone is saying? Yeah. Or isn’t that what it is like,
Preston Brown: You know, the cortisol is actually a wonderful biochemical. You know what the purpose of it is.
Jenn DeWall: No!
Preston Brown: You wake you up in the morning without a cortisol spike. You wouldn’t wake up in the morning. You literally die in your sleep. So cortisol’s critical. But, but a good thing too much of a good thing. If you drank 20 gallons of milk today, you’d probably so too much of a good thing can be bad. Right. So cortisol’s not a negative it’s we don’t know how to manage the biochemical factory that is our body. So I’m, I’m gonna kinda explain, can you get stressed on faith issues, energy in issues? Like we all need to fill our cup, right? Like, can you get stressed on issues? Yes, absolutely. Would that affect other areas maybe in your finance?
Jenn DeWall: Absolutely.
Preston Brown: So time you’re getting angry, you might have a finance goal, but it might be a phase or a family or a fitness thing it’s causing problems. Say you wake up with that pain. Oh man, that stresses me out. I have big meeting today, son, all of a sudden, and you get into this spiral. So I’m gonna go into a story that I think might be that million worth of information and maybe a life-changing moment if people hear it. And, and, and by the way, guys, you’re not following this. It’s going over your head one way to solve that– stand up. Then it’ll quick story of where I learned about the faith fitness, because literally at ripped out and root out problems. And when you’re rooting out problem here, you’re creating these situations and solutions here and, and, and life is all about like, where’s the anchor?
So I, I meditate, I meditate a lot. I call it thinking time. Right. And, and I sit in water, whether it’s a hot tub or a river or whatever, I’m a nerd for water. Like on the Chinese calendar, they say, my personality’s a wood personality, but I guess gotta add some water to grow the wood. Right. So like whatever, I like water. I’ve always liked water. I sit there and I think, and so I’m sitting in a river one day and I’m drinking TRUS and I’m like, man, you know, just, I think I solved all the issues that I went there to think. Cause I normally like have an intention and, and I’m just thinking like, what’s the meaning of life. And I just got this download of information. Everybody’s had this at some point or another, like, they’ve just gotten a lot of information at once.
Explaining the 4 Core Human Experiences
Preston Brown: Where did that come from? And I started like wide. So writing there’s four core human experience like there’s faith, which is energy in like, I need to fill my cup. I can’t pour from an empty cup. There’s family. Like it’s energy expressed. It’s the way you show love. It’s the way that you show effective transfer action. Like even that love talk, we were talking earlier, it’s part of like transferring action, right? Then there’s fitness. There’s help. There’s wellness. Like we’re gonna exist in this body. Like so, so fitness. Then there’s finances, there’s resource management, you know, maybe God made us in his or her image, but infinite finite. So we’re more like a reflection, you know? So we’re finite. We need to worry about resources. So finances, not just money it’s resources. These are the four courses of the human experiences and man a lot of thoughts. It was a lot coming fast.
So I wrote it down and I literally put a posting on the monitor of my computer for time to fitness finance. Just wanted to think on it. I, well, at this particular time I was taking a guy out of running one of my businesses and be real. Company’s a great guy. We different ideas. But time that you have a person exiting a company that used to work for you, especially in real estate, which is a big popularity contest type of business model, then it, it turns into a situation where you’re like, they’re open a to down and down background noise. Sorry- my dogs are in the background.
Sorry. I wanna make sure that I’m giving you all that. Not with, with little list <laugh> running around there. So anyway, I’m, I’m taking him outta the company. He’s no longer gonna run it from me for me. And, and he’s, he’s tried to hire a lot of the agents within the company and I don’t want them to leave, but at the same time, like I understand that’s just markets. Just dynamics is how it works. Whatever. So I’m not worried. But one young lady walks into my office and pretty much demands coaching. At this point. I’ve got a lot of businesses. I’m coaching some folks that are wall street entrepreneurs. These people are hired to run large companies that are publicly traded. I’m not looking to coach a realtor, but I also know the police. I don’t help her. She’s gone.
Applying the 4 Core Experiences to Problems
Preston Brown: She’s gonna go with this guy. That’s that? I’m taking outta the business. Well, I sit down like, okay, cool. What are you looking for? All coaching? Like I almost don’t like the word coaching. Coaching is all influence. Here’s what you gotta do. You gotta help somebody get from point A to point B. They have a map in their mind. They wanna get here. They know they’re not there. Most of the time. They don’t know where they are. So you have to figure out where are they and where do they wanna go? Where do they really wanna go? And then coach them. OK. That’s all coaching is. So I’m what are you looking for? What do you wanna do? And she’s like, I need to get to six closings a month. I’ve got a lot of financial stress. She’s telling me all this stuff like, and, and she keeps, while she’s telling me this venting four children, lots of love there, but lots of stress.
She’s empty. And then she’s venting about this husband she’s really mad at him. And I can’t, I dunno why. And I’ve never done like family coaching or relationship coaching, but I, I can hear there’s some frustration. I’m looking at her numbers on the computer and I’m like, okay, let’s see, you want six closings a month. How long do I have to get you there? She’s like, I need now. And I was like, now’s, let’s see where your numbers are. Five closings a month. She wanted a 1200% gain in her business. And I was like, now’s not gonna happen. 1200% gains a really good thing over a decade for most businesses. You want it now, how long do I really have? Like, like, and I’m just looking for her to be reasonable and rational because if you don’t have that, you can’t coach somebody anyway.
Right. And she’s like, maybe we can do it in three months. So I was like, OK, you know what? Three months I could probably get a realtor, at least a two or three. And I know that just by putting in some fundamentals. And so tell me about your business. And she starts going. And significant emotional events in life creates significant emotional events later. And those little events that I’ve noticed before, start getting bigger. And, and I look at this post-it note sitting on my computer, say these hearing regretting them as they’re coming out of my mouth. I say tell me about your husband. Why am I saying this, here I am a white man in Me Too America. Why the hell did I say that? Tell me about your husband. Like I am like bullseye target. Number one. I should not be asking this question. Right. And oh my God, I had no idea what I was doing, but I’ve never done family coaching. We’re grabbing a tissue box. I’m hearing about lipstick on the collar. I’m hearing about the text messages she’s found. I mean, it is like it’s, it’s pretty obvious what she thinks is happening in this guy’s world, right? Yeah. I’m I’m oh, wow. I’m trying to bring myself.
Finding the Right Problem to Solve
Preston Brown: Ok some women would wanna murder him in various body in the desert. Others are gonna say, this is the of my dreams. I, where are you? And she’s like is of my dreams. And I’m like, cool, got a baseline. I don’t why he is leaving. I don’t why he is even this, that. And I’m like, okay, cool. She’s even like taking responsibility saying maybe I’ve done something wrong. Like I, if somebody’s taking responsibility, reverse the word, they have the ability to respond. They can change it. I’m like actually starting to get Hope’s hope there psychology. So few thoughts with you. I look, I say, do you know how many archetypes that a man has in his heart and his mind and his soul? He wants one thing. She’s like no, how many, like one, just one. We’re real simple. I wanna be superhero every day. I like, if you buy me a cape for Christmas, I’m happy.
That’s me. You know how many women have. And she’s like, no, I said me either, but I know we can root them down to at least three there’s three archetypical personalities we can root a woman down to. You are a more sophisticated software with a more advanced brain. Okay. And in fact, I’ll prove it. Women use both sides of their brain nearly all the time. You know, men do that too, but only at two times, men can only use both sides of their brain when they’re either taking notes or having sex. Meaning outside of that, we’re either left or right. Not both. You guys are both always. Your emotional and logical portions are always connected. OK. And, and, and so I’m like, Hey, you have three. Let’s talk about what they are, because you can always like, kind of look at a woman and kind of figure out where she’s at within these three.
There’s like 10,000, but there’s three that we can root to. Right? One is this highly playful, highly feminine creature and feminine energy is like this flowy, loving, experiencing the universe energy, right? It’s the energy that over 40,000 years of human history that the woman has used to attract the man. Everybody says opposites, attract opposite energy. If you are in masculine and a feminine walks by, I don’t care if you’re attracted or not. You’ll look, if she’s in her feminine, you’ll look, you can’t, we can’t avoid it. OK. Not even you’re checking her out. You just feel the feminine, right? You like, I like feminine. Wow. It’s crazy. You know? So this highly feminine creature called the play was one architect. Then there’s this like half feminine half masculine, let’s call her the mother. Guess what? She, she raise. If you’re two, you need somebody to be direct and intentional to lead you. That way you don’t hurt yourself or get in trouble, but you also need love and nurturing and all that. So it’s kinda half and half masculine.
And then there’s this third one. My wife calls her and pardon of my Political correctness, the. And this one, it’s Babe in Total Control of Herself. Okay. This is the girl that 40,000 years ago, the men were off hunting. And what’s the most dangerous thing to a woman. Other man tribe. Other men comes in, they might steal stuff. They might hurt your children. You pick up a spear, you fend them off. And I look at this young lady that’s in my office. And I say, I think I might have an idea. And she says, what is it? And I said, you said you have four children. She said, yeah. I said, you’ve had four events where your body created life and created this chemical called oxytocin, which is the love hormone.
You experience love at a level that no man will ever know in their entire lives. And you did it not once, but four times. You ever heard of pat lost dog, bring the bell, love, comfort food, bring the battle. They’ll comfort. Food love is the meaning of life. Girl. You’ve learned four times. OK. When you met him, I don’t think you were in that state. I think you were probably in a much more playful state, much more energetic state. She tells me and turns out, guess what? She’s in school, she’s in college. She’s doing this. She’s doing that. She was in a dance class. She was doing all these things. She was feminine. And I said, what if he’s not looking for another woman? What if he’s a guy with only one archetype? He doesn’t realize you’re a more advanced creature.
And he doesn’t realize that the four children might have pushed you into another archetype. What if he’s looking for the year you first met and, and it was like mic drop moment because I watched her eyes like, well up. And I watched her like for the first second have this thing called hope. And I was like, I’m getting somewhere. Oh, I might be getting, this is really good. And so then listened for a few more minutes while I’m getting my thoughts. And I’m like all, what were your favorite behaviors? What were you doing when you met him? She was in a dance class. She was getting massages once a month. And she was doing shopping retail therapy, I think with like her mom, but she didn’t have the money for retail therapy, but she could go and at least look, window shop. Right?
Is Your Financial Problem Really a Family Problem?
Preston Brown: So I gave her homework. I said, you do this, you do this, you do this. Because behaviors for women equals emotions. But you guys gotta fill your at least weekly and do those behaviors. Otherwise you will empty like all of you all and, and we will too. But we, we empty a little slower. So you guys gotta be recharging, right? So I do those little questions and she answers and this girl’s, she’s doing all this a month. She has stepped back into her place. She’s still a mother when she needs to women get switched like that. You guys are like super computers. You can go one place to another. You’re amazing. But all of my companies are run by women. For this reason, you have better brains and I’m not knocking men. Men are really good at really intense, focused stuff.
But women can like feel environments and you switch depending on the needs of the environment. Beautiful. But when you get stuck, it can be damning and it can really curse the situation. Well, within a month, she’s back to being herself, switching, where she needs to go. This man is eating out of her hands. He discloses the relationship. He never slept with the other girl, I think did kiss her. He screwed up, but not as bad as thought the marriage is better. You know what, Jenn, this is actually a story of failure. I did not speak to the girl again for quite a while. She did tell me that he disclosed the relationship and ended it and they were doing better. That was about a month later, but it took about four and a half months. I think we were approaching the fifth month when she showed up in my office. And she said, Hey, I’m closing my sixth deal this month next week. So I didn’t do it in three months. It took four. We never did a financial coaching, but faith, family, fitness, finance. There was a family issue anchoring this incredibly powerful woman. And all that we had to do was get her out of her own way, remove the negative trigger, remove the subconscious trigger, the blame, the being lazy and making excuses from the situation to pull her back into her conscious mind that allowed her to naturally elevate. And she got exactly what she wanted.
Final Advice From Preston
Jenn DeWall: That is a crazy story. Not like on the delivery of both the finance piece, the family piece, the faith like just, yeah, that’s a perfect example of all four anchors. And I’m so happy that like, she, you know, has that for herself, that she has that growth. Like, cuz you want that for humanity. I love that. You talked about having hope again, thinking differently, you know, shifting in back into our conscious mind of not just being reactive to the life that we have Preston, I love this and I know that we have to wrap our podcast. I think that’s a powerful story. What would be a closing remark that you would have, or if you wanna give any closing feedback to The Leadership Habit audience that have been joining us for this conversation,
Preston Brown: You know, I mean live every day on purpose, take every negative emotion that you all might experience this. I mean, it’s part of life, but take it as feedback, take it as indicators and really stop pause, appreciate it. Figure out what the real root is and then go solve for that. Because honestly, when you solve for that, the faith of a mustard seed really can move mountains and, and it, by nature of just doing what we’re intended to do and living within our purpose and being authentic and real, you get to start living the life you watch on TV instead of just watching on TV.
Jenn DeWall: Yes. I love that. Well, and we all have access to that. Preston. Where can people get in touch with you?
How to Connect with Preston Brown
Preston Brown: All my social medias are like The Preston Brown or I guess @ThePrestonBrown and, and my team does respond. We, we do comment like, so if you have questions or anything like we, we, we try to make sure that we get to here.
Jenn DeWall: Preston, your enthusiasm, your stories, just your experience is such a, I’m so happy that we had it. It was such a wealth of knowledge. And thank you so much for giving your time or investing your time in to share this with our audience. I am so grateful. I love your energy. You guys have to follow The Preston Brown. You can find him on Insta. You can find him on multiple social platforms, but you have to connect. Preston’s go in big places. You already are at big places. Let’s be honest like, but I know that it’s gonna be awesome to continue to watch what you do. I’ve I’ve just really loved meeting you. Thank you so much for coming on the show.
Preston Brown: It’s an honor. Thanks for having me.
Jenn DeWall: Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit Podcast with Preston Brown. I really enjoyed my conversation with him. I felt like he gave so many unique insights and if you want to connect with Preston, you can head on over to connect with him @ThePrestonBrown on all platforms, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn.
Jenn DeWall: And of course, speaking of problems, if Crestcom can help you solve your organizational or leadership problems, we would love to help head on over to crescom.com. And there you can find more information about our 12 month long leadership development program. And finally, Hey, if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave us a review on your favorite podcast streaming platform. Until next time.