Achieving High-Performance Through Emotionial Intelligence with Neuro-Leadership Expert, Maureen Chiana

Achieving High-Performance Through Emotional Intelligence with Neuro-Leadership Expert, Maureen Chiana

Jenn DeWall:

Hi everyone! It’s Jenn DeWall. And on this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, I sat down with Maureen Chiana, who was the neuro-leadership and emotional intelligence consultant, speaker, and facilitator. She leverages brain science insights of how the brain works to empower executives, leaders, and educators to unlock potential, maximize performance, accelerate, and embed new behaviors to enable them and transform how they lead, work, and live! Maureen’s expertise is in behavioral change. Using the latest findings from neuroscience to help organizations become more human and their people to improve their quality of thinking to achieve sustainable success. She helps people mitigate the biases that negatively affect them and their decisions so they can flourish, excel and become limitless. Maureen and I sat down to discuss how we can create high-performing teams by understanding emotional intelligence. Enjoy!

Meet Maureen Chiana, Neuro-Leadership Consultant

Jenn DeWall:

Hi everyone! On this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast. I’m sitting down with Maureen Chiana, who is a neuro-leadership consultant. That is a title, Maureen! How did you start this journey to become a neuro-leadership expert and consultant? Tell me a little bit about that, and welcome to the show. We’re so happy to have you.

Maureen Chiana:

Oh, thank you so much for having me. I’m so honored to be here. How did I become a neuro-leadership consultant? It’s a long story, but I’m going to give you the short version. My background is in biomedical sciences, and I’ve kind of done quite a bit of career changes into IT, into lecturing, and then opened a business. And it was after the business I opened, which was in hospitality. I had to close it after four years, or I’d rather have to sell it after four years. I really felt so low because I have big plans, and that didn’t happen. So, in the end, I really felt like a failure. I felt so low. I felt vulnerable. I felt, I just felt so bad. And then, a few months later, I lost my mom. So it was so many emotions that it was just a really tough time.

Well, then I started asking the question, how do people fail and bounce back? How do people, you know, go through difficult situations and then come back and be okay? And I think my research brain kicked back in because I did use to work in medical research in the nineties. And I just started asking the questions, and that led me to neuroscience because it was more the brain. And I just really wanted to know how the brain works. And it was such an interesting journey because on discovering neuroscience in detail, the interesting thing is I have lectured in anatomy in the past, but not really neuroscience, not really how the brain really works.

So it really just opened my eyes to a whole new field, the whole new area. And that was how I discovered the brain and the control that we have over the brain. And then, I was able to now use this in my role as the leader in educational management. And I just saw how quickly we’re able to turn around on top-performing departments, disengaged teams. It was just an eye-opener. So that was my introduction to neuro-leadership.

Jenn DeWall:

That’s a pretty powerful story of hitting bottom, but then recognizing, or I guess, as you described it, turning that research brain back on and recognizing that our brain can help us in those situations. I’m curious, how do you work with individuals in terms of neuro-leadership?

Maureen Chiana:

So what I do is working with organizations as a whole. Suppose I want to change their culture, then I’m working with individuals because it still comes back to people. And the key is in whatever aspect it is. It’s how do people, what makes people behave the way they do, what makes them act the way they are. So with individuals who are leaders in organizations or business owners, it’s finding out where they are—finding out where they want to go and then helping them kind of bridge the gap. And also, with a lot of leaders, it’s fi helping them get their team on board, helping them relate better to their team, helping them understand themselves first and foremost because then they can understand the people that are needed. And the key thing for me is really helping organizations and leaders understand that they’re dealing with human beings. So it’s really bringing the humanness back into the, into leadership. Back into, you know, so the focus is not so much on results and skills but on people, because once you focus on the people, the results will follow, and they will follow in such a massive way than when you’re focusing more on the skills.

So it also to your question, how it’s going into an organization and finding out, you know, what the issues are, and then helping them create a program which I then deliver and usually over a period of time to help them. So I will use the training and coaching to have that because I don’t believe in one trade, one-day training or two-day training, and then going away. Because what we’re really looking at is helping people rewire their brains. So that’s my key. That’s the key thing I do. Really.

How Do You Define Emotional Intelligence?

Jenn DeWall:

I love it. We’re going to be talking about how to achieve high-performance using emotional intelligence. And that has to do all with rewiring our brain, but just to kind of level set. How do you define emotional intelligence?

Maureen Chiana:

Emotional intelligence is the ability of anyone to first and foremost understand why you’re feeling the way you are—so understanding your emotions. Understanding what creates the emotions and then enabling you to recognize them. Enable you to control them and also enable you to manage your emotions and how you interact with other people, and how other people perceive you. The reason why emotional intelligence is so important is that every thought we have every piece of information coming into the brain has to go through a check in the emotional parts of the brain. So every thought has an emotion attached to it. That then leads to you taking an action that creates a habit and behavior. So if you cannot understand what is happening with the emotions, then you can go back to the basics, which is the thought process, and you can start changing that. So it’s really helping you understand your emotions, manage those emotions so you can adapt those emotions and adapt your actions, which then changes your behavior.

Jenn DeWall:

Why is emotional intelligence- I mean, I think I know, you know, we all know a base level of how emotional intelligence impacts the productivity of our teams, but let’s just restate it. You know, this is again the reminder, why is emotional intelligence so important?

Maureen Chiana:

Emotional intelligence is extremely important because it’s the emotions that you have that drive the actions that you take, which then translates into your performance. So if you have people who are disengaged, where you really start looking at it? When you look at one individual, why is that individual not engaged at work or not motivated? Or why are they stressed while they suffered anxiety or where they’d been absent a lot from work? Or why are they ill? You know, all those, all those are actions, but what actually creates that goes back to what’s the emotions that they’re dealing with.

So if you understand how you can, it, you know, it’s the intelligence of emotions. It’s like when we define IQ. This is your talent, your skills, and overall that intelligence, but it’s really intelligent about the emotions because it’s the emotions that make you who you are, makes you act the way you act, makes you feel the way you do, makes you- makes you know, so that will determine, for example, of the manager criticizes the work you do, it’s the, it’s you being able to manage your emotions intelligently would determine you respond or whether you react. And that it goes on to determine your outputs, which then leads to the performance.

Jenn DeWall:

How, I mean, I know we talked earlier too, because emotional intelligence, you know, well, first I’ll say this, like in my coach training too, it was all about understanding If you wanted to change the outcomes you saw it, it sounds like this is where you are too. If you wanted to see different outcomes, you have to start with your core thought. So if your core thought is, I am not good enough, then you’re going to feel a lack of confidence. Then you likely won’t apply for that promotion or maybe speak up in a meeting. Is that kind of how you see it too? Like, or where do you see it starting?

Understanding the Subconscious Brain

Maureen Chiana:

So basically, what happens in the brain is when you have a thought when the thought comes in, then the brain is assessing in that thought process to say, okay, what is this? Is it something I’m familiar with? Or is it something that is new to me? And your emotion, the emotional sense of the amygdala, you know, predominantly the amygdala and hippocampus are really looking at it to go, do we, do we know what this is?

And if it’s something, for example, that says, I’m not good enough that they thought that it’s coming, I’m not good enough. If it’s something that is already wired in the brain that you’re already feeling, or you have the thought process of you’re not good enough, or someone has told you, you’re not good enough. And it’s already stored in memory. When you have this thought process, then what the next action is. The emotions are immediate, that’s attached to that thought kick in, and you then find yourself either avoiding doing an action or carrying out a task or holding back, self-sabotage kicks in, procrastination kicks in because you feel the main thing is the subconscious brain drives 90% of what we do.

Jenn DeWall:

Wait. Holy Cow! I need to pause for that one. The subconscious brain controls 90% of what we do. So is this the wake-up call that all leaders need right now? Like wake up, if you’re feeling may be low or frustrated or blank, this is your opportunity to rewire. Sorry. I just want to give that as our starting point for our audience.

Maureen Chiana:

Yeah, exactly. Because you see when the subconscious is what drives 90% of what we do, and it’s really on autopilot. So it’s the area of your mind that is just like, I use the iceberg as a typical example. The bit you don’t see, which is below the sea, is the main part of the iceberg. The top part is just a really little bit, which is the conscious brain. So if, if the subconscious is the bit we don’t see that has our beliefs has our values has all, you know, cultural background as all those things stored in it. And that’s what’s driving. Our actions are, you know, the way we perceive ourselves, our self-value.

If it’s our branding, how we identify, how we perceive ourselves, if all that is in the subconscious, that means that a lot of actions that we’re taking, we actually take it from the place of non-conscious at play, unconscious aspect. So our behaviors are not conscious. Our actions are not conscious. If that’s the case, if you don’t start looking into what’s in the unconscious, the unconscious will keep driving you to do what you consciously want to do differently. So you want to run a business and be very successful. You want to be a great manager. You want to get your team engaged, but your subconscious has a different story. The story in your subconscious is I’m not good enough. I can’t do this. It’s too difficult. I’m not qualified enough. Your subconscious, because that’s the thoughts coming in, and that’s the thought coming in, will only drive you to do what you’re giving it.

So in a way, the subconscious answers the questions you ask it, or it goes on. It does what you tell it to do, basically. So if you don’t change the narrative, it will keep going in the way that you don’t want it to go. And then, you know, look, that’s what, and that’s what creates reality for everyone. I always say that everyone’s reality is different, but the reality you have is the one that is wired in your brain. So the question is, what is wired in your own brain that then drives your behavior and action?

Is Your Brain Wired for High-Performance?

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh, I’m pretty candid on the podcast, but a big part of rewiring. Because I’m, you know, you hear the expression, a recovering perfectionist, and the thought rooted in that is I am not good enough because that then motivated me. Let’s think about this earlier on in my career to do more research, to maybe study more, to spend more time at work depending on if we’re looking at college and my first job, but then when I think about the “I’m not good enough.” And how that actually showed up in my first career, I was really reluctant to want to contribute because I just assumed that someone else had a better answer or a better piece of feedback. And I also then would go into things, not feeling competent. So if I had an annual review, I would be very anticipatory of, okay, well, this is where they’re going to tell me where I’m missing the mark, because I need something that I need to work on, right? Perfectionist, like there’s some, I’m fundamentally flawed in some way, or I’m not good enough. And I say this, and I share my example because I think, you know, we all have it, and we all need to understand what messages we program in. I know that I am inherently at my core. I know that I’m good enough, but when I’m not tapped into that, my subconscious absolutely will take over and be like, Jenn, you’re missing the mark on this. You’re always behind. You need to work on this. And that is where I don’t. That feels awful. It feels awful.

Maureen Chiana:

Yeah. And when you think about it, and lots of what is wired in our brain has been wired in passively without us actively doing it. So things that we’ve absorbed from when we’re children, things we’ve absorbed. When we’re growing up. Things we listen to. Things people have said. All that is all that kind of goes into the brain passively, but it’s then in storage so that when you then want to do something, what is stored in the brain is the negatives. You know, I can’t, I can’t, you can’t, it’s too difficult. You’re not good enough. So when you then want to actually cautiously do something, the subconscious, which is so powerful, 90% is going, no, no, no. That’s, you know, but remember you’re not good enough. You can’t do this. And if you allow it, it will then drive your actions. But the interesting thing is, oh, it’s I use this quote, what you, what you focus on, expands. Whatever you give this- so whatever the subconscious brain is focusing on- is what it will, you know, the brain then filters every other thing out. So if you’re, if what you’re selling yourself is that you are not good enough, every other thing is filtered out. You know, the system filters everything else out. So all you’re seeing is I’m not good enough. Do you know? So your actions will be, I’m not good enough. You open a book. All you see are things I’m not good enough. You want to carry out an action. And you know what all you all you’re going to see is things that will confirm that you’re not good enough because your subconscious brain will help you confirm what you’re already telling it because it has to protect you from what it perceives as a threat. And the threat is anything that is different from what is already wired in it.

Jenn DeWall:

oh my gosh, I love, that’s a really powerful, you know, again, observation, to understand that it’s not true. What is the truth that you’re telling yourself? Because it’s your truth, but not THE truth. That’s the one that you have programmed and reinforced through experiences. And that’s the lens of how you’re going to observe your life. And so we have to challenge it and say, how true is it really? Is that like, so where do we start? How can we talk about how this emotional intelligence can impact the culture of a team? Like what, when we don’t have that right mindset, how does that actually show up in a team perspective?

Maureen Chiana:

One thing to also remember is that emotions are contagious. So if one person within a team comes in with negative emotion, that can spread really fast within a team. Really quickly. And then you start finding everyone else, you know, replicating that negative emotion. And also the brain in terms of when it’s trying to keep us away from stress, that is actually stronger than the positive is, you know, make it giving you a reward. And the reason for that is the brain is trying to keep you away from anything that is dangerous. So we did it seem, you’ve got a group of people with different thoughts, different beliefs, different values, different actions, and everything comes out in the form of emotion on action or a thought process. So a typical example is if they want to go through a change process or you want to implement something different, you will have people there who automatically would resist change because that’s the brain’s normal way.

But there are people who are so risk-averse because of their upbringing, because of their culture, because of what is already wired in their brain. So the key there is, you see, when you have more of anything that ends up becoming the culture because the culture of any organization is the people. It is the accumulation of the different aspects of people. So if you don’t start making clear what you want the culture of the organization to be, you end up having is the, is the culture of what’s predominant in the people that you have. So it’s really important to set a tone on what you want so that people consciously can start changing their behavior pattern to suit the culture that you want.

High-Performing Teams Start With Intentional Leadership

Jenn DeWall:

I, you know, I think that’s so important. I think that that’s often the piece that we might forget where we as leaders, you know, people that might be listening to this, maybe they have had the opportunity to take an emotional intelligence class, or they might have a little bit more familiarity. So any of you listening may have a better understanding of how you need to control your emotions because of the impact that it has on others. But I do feel like a lot of leaders forget to take that forward into the team environment and to put the responsibility onto those individuals that may not have had that training yet, or maybe you can help them with that training. But, you know, I think that we really do need to start educating people on the personal impact of when we do not show up in a way that’s productive or supportive how that can completely impact culture. Because I think again, employees put a lot of pressure on leaders to get it right. And sometimes that’s totally founded, but sometimes it’s really gotta be on the employees too, to say, how do I want to show up at work? I can’t just sit in victim mode and blame everything on the organizational hierarchy or the leader. Like, what part do I own? Sorry, that’s my little soapbox. But I think that we miss it as an opportunity. It’s often something that’s only discussed at maybe different levels of leadership.

Maureen Chiana:

Yeah, no, you’re absolutely right. And the fact is that every single person is responsible for their own emotions. And this is where it’s really important for leaders themselves to understand how they are opposite leadership starts with yourself first. You’ve got to be able to lead yourself first. Then you can lead others because the whole aspect of emotional intelligence is once you understand your own emotions, then you can help others. It’s becoming a coach as a leader. You’ve got to also be a coach to your people, and getting them to then start being responsible for their own thoughts, their own emotions. Because as they say— what you don’t know, you don’t know. If people don’t understand that, actually, they can do something about the way they’re feeling or the way they’re thinking or the way they perceive things or the way their reality is. If they don’t know that, then they will, you know, they believe that the way they are, what they’re seeing is the truth.

But the fact is, is it really the truth, or is it your truth that your brain has created? You know, then you believed it is the truth. And for them, it’s real because that’s, that’s what their brain knows. So it’s really important. I always say that it’s, you know, for any organization, it’s important to train the leaders, but get the leaders to work with the teams or train the teams. And, it has to be over a period of time because brain rewiring takes time. It is, you know, it’s repetition that enables you to create new wiring. Then you cut down the old wiring, and it starts disappearing. The new one becomes the main wiring, but it takes time. So it can’t just be given training. And that said, the question is, how do they then implement it.

You know I’m working with a leader currently who, you know, she’s gone through the course. I think she’s on her seventh module, and she started having problems with one of the team members. And she went. I would never have even thought to even stop and ask the question to the team member. I would have just told them what to do or, you know, acted in a completely different way. So questioning is powerful too, to really engage people because it makes them stop and think. And that process then helps them start being accountable for their own actions as well.

Leveraging Emotional Intelligence to Achieve High-Performance

Jenn DeWall:

I love that, asking those open-ended coaching questions, getting them to reflect instead of maybe just making an observation or an assumption, giving them the opportunity to think through it and describe, so I know we’ll probably weave this in, but so how can you use emotional intelligence to achieve high-performance? What is the framework? What does that look like? If you’re a leader, you’re thinking about how you can leverage the power of EI or emotional intelligence. How do you do that to achieve high-performance?

Maureen Chiana:

I think the main thing because I created a framework, and the main thing I start with is helping people understand that they can rewire their brains. Yeah, that’s the first piece to rewire the brain. Then the next part is emotional intelligence. So it’s able to understand the emotion, be able to control the emotion, manage those emotions, form those relationships effectively so that you can be a better influencer. And then the third one is adaptability, which is emotional agility, or emotional adaptability, which is being able to now change the behavior patterns. It’s possible because once you’ve been able to rewire the brain, then you know that you can actually adapt; you can be flexible. Now you know things are not fixed. And it’s learning how to go back and question your brain about what it is coming up with. So it’s the awareness first and foremost of what’s my brain saying? What are these questions coming up? What’s this trigger? What is causing this emotion I’m having? It’s able to ask those questions, you know, have the awareness, then be able to then adapt and change and know that you can adapt and change that action or behavior. And then the next thing is the connection. We know how you, how you connect with people, how empathetic are you? You know, not being sympathetic, but really being empathetic, how you communicate with people. You know, how do they feel? And this brings us to things like how, how do you make people feel when they’re working in your team?

How do you allocate tasks to people? Is it fair? Is it fair? Or do they feel it’s fair? Do they perceive it as being fair? Or are you just doing it based on what you want? And then the last bit is the transformation, which is actually now taking you through the, you know, being able to be resilient, how to stay motivated. So those are the three, those are the three to five things that I use when training people, and it’s going through each of them are being able to apply them to your work. For everyone, it will be different. Because it’s, you know, I always say the first thing is recognizing yourself first because you, your actions will be driven by what’s wired in you. So it’s been able to now understand, ask the question, how do I respond to this? Am I doing this based on what I want or the way I’m feeling, or am I actually listening and thinking about the other person as well.

Jenn DeWall:

So if I was going to start this framework, the place that I would start as a leader is, I guess it probably would be having a conversation with your team or in one-on-ones and asking them, you know, maybe describing to them what this means, right? A mindset and the impact that it has in terms of their actions. But is it just as simple as saying, like, you know, what are some of the things that cause you confusion, stress, or lower your confidence? Do you have any like, you know, if step one is creating the question, what are some good questions that you can ask yourself?

Maureen Chiana:

So one of the things that I really start with the best thing I do is I use a brain mapping diagnostic tool. You know, I don’t use personality because personality kind of says, that’s the way you are. It’s almost like a fixed thing. You know, when you’re doing personality profiles and lots of people do it, I go, okay, that says, like, that, that says, you know, this profile is saying that I’m an introvert. I am like that. And subconsciously, people kind of believe that that’s the way they are. So they can’t change their behavior.

Jenn DeWall:

Can we talk about that? Like I, because I also don’t love personality assessments. Yeah. I don’t, I think they’re great for little nuggets, but I don’t think, I think a lot of people take them as like, well, first and foremost, we, you know, maybe idolize a different strength or something else that we don’t have. And then all we do is judge ourselves for not being that. I think that they should be used with caution because, again, I think it very quickly puts people into a fixed mindset, thinking that they can’t change it. I’m so glad to hear that you, you have kind of a similar belief on personality because I really, you know, I get that they can be of value to understand maybe how someone is. No, I don’t. I just don’t love that, especially for decision-making purposes or to hire because you’re not seeing the person as the full person. You’re taking it as one thing. And you have no idea how subjective it could be. I just wish that more and more people would maybe see the different side of a personality assessment. And that maybe it’s just a great point of view, but it’s not something that you should use to definitively make decisions on.

Maureen Chiana:

Spot on. So I don’t like them at all. So what I use is it’s a brain mapping diagnostic. What it looks at is your behavior patterns for particular things. So, for example, when you’re doing it, you’re you focus on the subject or aspect, which could be your leadership, which could be work. And then you’re asking a question based on the way you perceive that you know, that situation with that we are able to then determine with questioning. And the typical question could be, you know, relating to why, you know, why you kind of see something the way you do or why you respond to a particular situation the way you have or what we know, what makes you feel uncomfortable when you’re asked to carry out a particular task. Or why, you know, why do you find, you know, why do you find it difficult, having difficult conversations with people, which is a really interesting one. And just digging a bit deeper. Why do you panic when you’re asked to give a presentation? So it’s really able to use that behavior profile to dig a bit deeper into what causes it or into how you perceive the situation.

And because you said at the end of the day, it’s all the perception of, you know, your reality. So it’s been able to dig that. And the key is knowing that it’s a pattern that you can change, a pattern that you’ve created that has developed over time, which you can change. And I always start from that aspect because it kind of enables the person to start reflecting on their own thoughts, reflecting on their behavior, reflecting on how they’ve responded to things in the past or reacted to things in the past. And then that gives us a framework or a basis, a foundation to be able to start working, which then leads us into what we now need to start rewiring. Because if you kind of just jump first into rewiring, how do you know what to rewire? How do you know? Because it, lots of times when you ask people how I get, a lot of people will tell you I’m very emotionally intelligent, but you find out it’s speaking to them that they’re not, you know, they, they don’t even have the (emotional) intelligence at all.

So this is what it’s, it’s more like an eye open in a way it’s like a glass puts in a glass in front of you to be able to really dig deep and find out the truth about the way you really perceive things and the way you’ve responded to things in the past. And then that’s how you then know what to rewire. That then leads you into knowing how to then manage those emotions.

Using Neuro-Science to Achieve High-Performance

Jenn DeWall:

I want to walk through the framework if we can, like, just thinking while you were, while you were speaking, the thought came up because I know a lot of leaders struggle, maybe emerging leaders really struggle at first with wanting to be liked. And so then we don’t have difficult conversations. And so let’s say that that is, or we don’t share valuable feedback, right? Because we don’t want to make someone mad or upset or sad, whatever that might be.

Maureen Chiana:

If I notice that I’m an avoider, how would I then go through this, the process of rewiring? What would that look like? Okay. So, for example, avoiding is a good one. Especially with the brain marker diagnostics we use. Because it comes out that, you know, it’s more when you’re really trying to- where your focus is on making people happy. It could be that, you know, you, you feel that you like supporting people, you really like helping people. You really want people to do well. In fact, that’s a typical example of someone I’m actually working with. And she, as well as, you know, found it so difficult to have difficult conversations or even delegate because she did not want people to feel offended. Or somebody I was working within the same category would, instead of telling people what to do, kind of go and do it himself. So he sort of telling them, giving them the tasks you would do to stuff, because he had told himself that they’re really busy, so why give them more work? And then he then, you know, ended up doing it, which meant that he was not able to do his role as a leader effectively because he was doing everybody else’s job. So when we then looked at it, and we started digging deep. And as you know, we started asking him the questions. Then it came out that he, you know, really did not like upsetting people, or he really wanted people to like him. And you know, on digging in even further, which sometimes is quite helpful, we kind of start looking at childhood what, let you know, you know, how did that start? Is it somewhere in your childhood that you noticed it? And then if at one of the people that I worked with was something that happened when she was young, that then made her feel that way, and she then carries on.

Maureen Chiana:

So the thing now is to then recognize, at this point, your own strengths. You know who you are. Let’s forget about people; who do you see yourself as? And one of the activities I really give people is to, is to go and, you know, they say. There is a worksheet I give them so that they can actually start identifying their own strengths, their characteristics, what people have said about them, you know all the, all the good things that they remember about them that people have said. And in some cases, when it’s quite extreme, I get them to paste it somewhere. They can actually see all the time. Because when you, when you then go past it, and you remind yourself of it, what you’re doing is wiring created wiring in the brain. And there’s a framework I use for rewiring.

So some, some, an example, somewhat something might happen, and it comes up again. I’m not good enough. Because you’re now aware of it, you pick it up faster. So when that thought process comes, you pick it up, and then you can then stop immediately and start wiring. No, I’m good enough because I do this. This is who I am. I’ve got this strength. I’ve achieved this in the past. I know that I can do this. And that is the rewiring process taking place. And even when somebody says something to you that creates an emotion of being not, you know, the emotional that kind of comes with that might create anxiety, or that might create an emotion that makes you feel really flat, or somebody gives you feedback, and you suddenly feel like okay, I can’t do this.

And you suddenly have that emotion of, of loneliness in our kind of call it that immediately. You’re picking it up. And that’s the emotional intelligence that, that ability to recognize it quite quickly. And then you can, then I call it, put the brakes on the brain and then start the rewiring process. And with the rewiring, I kind of call it. It’s able to recognize it, reframe it, release that negative emotion, then reinforce the new thought process that you want. And then the final one is reached, where you carry on doing it until it becomes effortless because then you know that it’s now wired into the brain. And, you know, it takes about 100 says it takes about a hundred days to create new wiring. I say, give it another hundred for it to become a habit and just keep going on until it’s completely effortless. If not, if you stop it and go back to the past, what you will find, is that it will go and pick up where you left off. So it’s important to keep reinforcing that new wiring. So that’s the emotional base. And then the adapting is now being able to really put this into practice so that if a situation happens, how do you quickly adapt to the situation? Instead of either going, no, I’m out, or the procrastination sets in, let me put it off. And you know, it all comes back to that initial stage of awareness. And then it just carries on to the transformation bit.

Taking Ownership to Achieve High-Performance

Jenn DeWall:

I, I love, you know, I think the piece that if I would say anything, it’s just a reminder to people that you have the power you have, you always have it. You can choose how you respond to any situation. You can blame your boss, or you can say in what part of this, or what part of this do I control? I love that you shared. I’ve heard even the thoughts described. And this is a different term that I forget who I got this from. This is not from me, but understanding our thoughts is essential. If you’re observing a street and that each of your thoughts is the different cars that are driving by, and you can choose whether or not to get into that car and drive the I’m not good enough car or the I’m only this, or I’m just a this. And we can also choose to get in the car that says, I am good enough. I can figure this out. I believe in myself. And so this all starts with your ability to understand that it starts with you. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I just love that quote because I think it just reminds us of the responsibility. If we want to show up in a different way as leaders, it has to start with us taking that responsibility.

Maureen Chiana:

Yeah. So one thing that you said, there’s a saying that goes, you see the world, not as it is, but as you are. It really starts with you. And one other analogy I use, which is similar to the car as well. You know the brain is like, you’ve got a car and then you sort of going into the driver’s seat and taking the steering and driving, you got to sit in the passenger seat, and somebody else is driving the car for you. And you might be in that car and then going, okay, can you tell him left for this person driving decides no, they want to turn right. You have no control. So they will go, right. Because they are in control of the desk there, even though you’re screaming at the top of your boat, voice, go left, go left, go left, go, right? Because that’s where they want to go. The only time you make a difference is when you stop that car, get into the driver’s seat, stop the engine and drive your car yourself. Then you are in control. And the fact is that we are totally in control. We have the ability to be controlled, but lots of times, we’d let somebody else or something else or the world or the society or whatever that might be, or our parents, you know, from the past or teachers being in control. So it’s really getting back into the driver’s seat and taking that control back. I think this is a great ending point. How are you going to get into your driver’s seat? Make sure you’re driving the car and not anyone else.

Jenn DeWall:

I think that’s a great final closing reminder. Maureen, how can people get in touch with you?

Maureen Chiana:

I’m on LinkedIn at Maureen Chiana. So if you look on my website, which is Maureenchiana.com, but also the I’ve got an online academy, which is the mindsight academy, which has the courses. And one of the great courses that I have is emotional intelligence for leadership, which is over nine weeks. And if you love podcasts, you can listen to my podcast on Lead to Excel podcast or anywhere, apple, Spotify, YouTube, anywhere.

Jenn DeWall:

Thank you so much for the great conversation, Maureen. Thank you for just this beautiful motivation and reminder that our success is all in our hands is actually our mind. We got to get in that car. Thank you so much for joining us, Maureen.

Maureen Chiana:!

No, you’re welcome Really a great pleasure being here. Thank you for having me.

Where to Find Maureen Chiana

Jenn DeWall:

Thank you so much for listening to this conversation with Maureen Chiana as we talked about how we can create high-performing teams using emotional intelligence. If you want to connect with Maureen or join her nine-week course to help you build your emotional intelligence for leadership, you can join the mindset academy at MaureenChiana.com. If you know someone that could benefit from this podcast, share it. And of course, leave us a review on your favorite podcast, streaming service. If Crestcom can ever help you, please let us know. We offer complimentary two-hour workshops, where we come into your team, help you identify your leadership challenges and how you can connect to create organizational success.