Turn Your BS (Blind Sides) Into Leadership Success!

Turning Your B.S.(Blind Sides) Into Leadership Success with Carla Romo

Jenn DeWall:

Hi everyone, it’s Jenn DeWall, and on this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, I sat down with Carla Romo. We talked about turning your B.S.— your blindsides— into leadership success. Let me tell you a little bit about Carla. Carla Romo is an author, speaker, certified life coach, and podcast host. And at age 24, she hit her rock bottom when she found herself in another toxic codependent relationship and in a cycle of burnout from her career in T.V., But this time, she got up and learned how to break free from codependency and get out of burnout—inspired by her self-growth journey. She took lemons and made lemonade, and today she helps people push through their B.S.- your Blind Sides- so they can thrive in all aspects of their life. Today, Carla leads worldwide workshops and talks to people from varying backgrounds for work ranges from small group settings to hundreds of attendees, either in person or virtual. She has spoken to or been featured in the Simon Business School, Milwaukee Bucks, Nissan Bravo, Verizon, Bumble, Lifetime, as well as other highly-rated iTunes podcasts. And today, Carla and I sat down to talk about how you can turn your B.S., your blind sides, into leadership success.

Meet Carla Romo—Author, Speaker and Life Coach

Jenn DeWall:

Hi, everyone! It’s Jenn DeWall. And on this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, I am so excited to be sitting down with author speaker certified life coach and podcast host. Woo! Another one! Carla Romo. Carla, thank you so much for joining us today on the podcast.

Carla Romo:

Thanks, Jenn! I’m super excited to be here!

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh. And we’re going to be talking about turning our B.S., the blind sides, into leadership success. How did you kind of navigate and find yourself really loving to help people through that? What does it even mean to have blind sides?

Carla Romo:

Well, I think really just my own blind sides I had to get through and the things that stopped me from thriving, and we’re talking intimate relationships, we’re talking career, personal life. I mean, blind sides can really go into any area, any aspect, but here’s the deal is that if you have blind sides, which basically are blocks that are stopping you from thriving in life, these are the things that are holding you back that you probably don’t even realize.

Carla Romo:

Or maybe you realize when you’re just sitting on it, these things that hold you back, rob you of your full potential. And so the idea is once you push through one block, maybe you think, gosh, my career’s just not where I want it to be. It’s just really frustrating for me. And you’re like, what do I do? Right. So you kind of sort out those blind sides in that area so that you can start to thrive in your career. But what you probably will realize, once you start doing this work, this inner work of blind sides is you’ll start to notice, Oh, this is also my personal life. My friendships, family, life relationships, all of these areas are affected by your blind sides. So I like to say it doesn’t discriminate— blind sides, you know— affect all of it. It’s just that maybe it’s coming out and bleeding through in one area, for example, like leadership.

Jenn DeWall:

Well, I think you talk about even how, first of all, I heard you say inner work, which is so important because I think that we just want the tool. We don’t want to do the inner work.

Carla Romo:

I just want the quick fix. Right?

What are Some Common Blind Sides?

Jenn DeWall:

I also like that you talk about that we can’t look at life in a vacuum again. I think that was one of those myths that we’ve been conditioned to believe that we can somehow shut off a portion of ourselves when we go into the office. And it’s just not; it’s not the case. So I think that’s great that you talk about that. What are some examples of maybe some blind sides that people might have?

Carla Romo:

Being stuck in your career to a place of, Okay, I know I want more for myself. I know I really want to go after X type of role, but I feel really stuck in this one role. Another blind side is confidence. Just not feeling good enough to take on a different role or to lead. Imposter syndrome- insert right there. So that can also look like a blind side. And then just the value of yourself. So if you were to think about the value of yourself right now and what you bring, you probably haven’t been really thinking about that. What you’re probably thinking about as we are our own worst critic is, Oh, I’m not good enough, or I’m not worthy enough. Or I don’t have enough skill set in this area, or people are going to judge me, or people aren’t going to like me. Those are some of the major blind sides that show up and manifest in surface-level stuff. So that could look like, Oh, like, I don’t know. I don’t. I’m not really going to take on this leadership role. I’m too busy. It’s coming up with excuses because what’s really underneath that excuse of I’m too busy is I’m not worthy enough. I don’t have that confidence to go out there and do it.

Jenn DeWall:

Do you ever notice that I’m curious like I see this sometimes with clients that they might look at themselves and they look at their hard skills, and they look at that as how they determine confidence? So if they’re like, well, of course, I’m confident, but yet they don’t actually realize that they actually don’t have competence. They might have it on the specific hard skill, but they don’t have it internally. And I’m curious what, like how do you help people bring awareness to those blind sides? Because I think sometimes, I love it. Yeah. It’s blind. We don’t necessarily draw attention to it or realize the impact that it’s having.

Carla Romo:

Absolutely. So when people are looking at themselves and like, well, I’m confident I feel worthy enough. Okay. That’s fine. There’s a difference between where your emotional level is at and your logical level. Is that okay? So logic and emotion don’t always meet up. And so when you’re at a place of your right brain is the feeling side of things. Your left brain is logical. It wants to come to conclusions. So you might not feel okay, like you are good enough, but logically, look, that I’m good enough. I’m confident I did this before in the past. So it’s fine. Whatever. So you’ve got to meet yourself where you’re at that moment. So you just have to start peeling back the layers of the onion, is the way I like to put it. What is stopping you? So really ask yourself, what’s stopping me from my full potential at this moment?

What is the thought behind it? And then what is the feeling that’s driving it. And if it’s the feeling of sadness or frustration or loneliness or anger, that is, what’s pulling you back, and the thing is you can’t compartmentalize your feelings. So maybe you’re like, I’m just going to power through it. Right? And look, we can all power through things and get through it, and you know, grit. Right? But what is so important here is to give yourself time to process your feelings, which does not take very long, but we like to just bypass our feelings and go to our left brain of logic. So when you can connect with how you’re feeling about something, then you can start to connect to where this left-brain logic is coming from. So maybe for you to bypass is like, I’m not feeling confident. I don’t feel very good. I feel lonely. I feel sad about it, but I know I’m confident. So whatever. Instead of dealing with it, it just kind of masks it.

What Happens When We Ignore Our Blind Sides?

Jenn DeWall:

Yeah, Absolutely. And what are, you know, I, I want to, let’s give the call to action, right? To the people that might be struggling with really wanting to go deep, because again, it’s feelings. Yeah. What’s the consequence of not addressing these blind sides? Like what is the consequence to us, our success, and our ability to lead?

Carla Romo:

You’re holding yourself back 110%. And in order to lead, I truly believe that you’ve got to do your inner work. You’ve got to do that confidence-building that blindside building, because if you do not do that, how are you expecting to lead others through their blind sides, through what they’re going through and the more awareness and emotional intelligence that you can grow- because the beautiful thing is you can always grow your emotional intelligence, is to be able to do that work for yourself. And so doing that makes you a thriving leader would make you somebody who can lead- person, place, thing- whatever it is that you want to lead in life. And so doing that work is what gives you that, but not doing that work is actually what holds you back as being a true leader.

Jenn DeWall:

I think it probably plays into a lot of the challenges we see, or we’ve been really seeing more pronounced for the pandemic like burnout.

Carla Romo:

Absolutely.

Jenn DeWall:

It is about being able to do that. And they think, you know, you can give yourself the band-aid or pretend does it have an impact, or you can do the work and you can actually help establish better mental health, a better sense of confidence. You’re going to make better decisions. I mean, I love the topic that you talk about, Carla, because I think so many people, especially leaders, really struggle in silence. They don’t actually admit the way that this can make their role more challenging than they might feel like. Oh gosh, like what if my team doesn’t like me? What if I make the wrong decision? And that, it sounds like what you offer with overcoming our blind sides is just a way for us to have more peace and less stress and less burnout. Does that sound about right? Like what benefits do you see leaders have or individuals have when they actually do the work on their blind sides?

Carla Romo:

Absolutely. And I’ve coached a lot of executives at fortune 500 companies, startups, things like that. And the number one thing that I see with them is what was driving them to be successful. A lot of times is ego, and I’m not talking ego in the sense of I’m so great. I’m amazing. I’m actually talking to the other side of ego. I am so insignificant that I am significant and that a lot of times is what propels people. Okay. I got to prove myself. I got to get out there. I got to get out there. But when you can flip the script and really look at yourself here of, you know, what is it that’s driving me? What is it that’s propelling me forward? How is it holding me back? What is it? What is it that’s stopping me from thriving in leadership? So when I do this work with clients, a lot of times, they’re able to turn what’s driving them into their full purpose and meaning in life. And so they’re not driven by ego anymore. Instead, they’re actually driven because they want to contribute to society. They want to contribute as a leader to the workplace and their businesses and their careers. And that’s what propels them forward.

Jenn DeWall:

I love that. They’re driven by much more of that big picture, impact, and perspective.

Carla Romo:

And it’s that meaning and purpose again, you know, like we all have meaning, we all have purpose, but when we feel disconnected to it, it’s really actually the surface level indication of the blind side of being disconnected to ourselves.

How Do We Start Turning Blind Sides into Leadership Success?

Jenn DeWall:

So how do we, Like, I know that this, again, it can be difficult to initially get in generate the awareness, but where do you start with your clients on this? How do you start? I guess what’s the path to overcoming your blind sides or what’s the process that you have to work through to actually turn that into a leadership success?

Carla Romo:

So, number one is what’s your, what stopped you? Like what’s your obstacle. Okay. So what are you unhappy with? Like, what is it that you feel not satisfied with? And maybe you’re like, well, I’m satisfied with everything in life. I have a good salary. I’ve got a great position at this company. Okay. Emotionally, internally, if you can’t think about things like that, right? Like sometimes, my clients come to me, like I’m just not satisfied with where I’m at and my position at work or whatever it might be. But if you’re like, I feel good about that. Like I have this, right? Like it shows where I’m at. Really? What is underneath that? Are you emotionally connected? Do you feel you have meaning? Do you feel you have a purpose? And it’s actually starting with that little piece, but before we even dive into that, it’s the awareness piece.

You have to have the awareness to make any change in your life. So if you could start to become aware of like, you know, maybe take a little journal around with you or put it in your phone, start taking notes of things that maybe you don’t feel as connected to, or maybe you feel that you want to work toward, that you feel like is impossible. So really start to dream, get big, get out there. And that can start to feel uncomfortable because these blind sides are holding you back from really getting into your full potential. So once you have this awareness- taking notes, maybe it’s even just your burnout. You feel exhausted. It’s like I had a purpose once here, but now I don’t even know what I’m doing on the zoom call and this meeting with everybody. So really, just having that level of awareness, writing it down, and being honest with yourself immediately starts to pull out and call out these blind sides in your life.

Jenn DeWall:

So I love that thinking about where do you want to go? And what’s the first, I don’t know, maybe for lack of a better description, what’s the first “no” that your mind thinks of? Nope. You can’t do that because of this or no. You’re too old. Or no, you’re this like, what’s, what are your no’s that come up as you think about that? I kind of like that perspective. Because then it’s like, just think about this outside of yourself. Like, they’re just absolute thoughts. Like they come up, we all have them again. Carla and I both have them.

Carla Romo:

I have them. And that’s how I’ve got it. That’s how I created the blind siding work because, because of my own blind sides.

Jenn DeWall:

Okay. So we start, we get the awareness. We, I love the idea of like, even just pulling around your phone and just start to take a mental note, then what do we do? Okay. We have the awareness I’ve identified. Let’s say maybe it’s just feeling. I guess what I see, you know, in the work with Crestcom that we do, sometimes leaders just feeling like I wasn’t prepared to be a leader. And so then anything that they do, they might start to say, Oh gosh, can I, am I even up for the task? Do I have what it takes? So if that’s what we’re noticing that limiting belief of just feeling like we don’t have the experience, then what?

Brainstorm Without Having to Decide Right Away

Carla Romo:

Absolutely. And the next step would be to start getting real with yourself. What do you want for yourself? And I like to go into brainstorm mode of like, just throw out everything, every single option that you have, that you could see for your future, your potential, maybe it’s a leadership track, every option with that. I mean, whatever it might be for yourself and just throw out the options, even the options you don’t want. Okay. So just make a list, just start throwing out ideas of what you want, the life that you want to create for yourself. What would be cool, what wouldn’t and then start to process by elimination. So you go through this list and you say, okay, here’s something, you know, I really like this aspect of the option or of my future, but I really don’t like this, and I’m not going to do that, that part.

So cross it off. And then when you get down to maybe two or three, I want you to, just to like to sit on them. So I never have clients just make a quick decision impulse and run with it. Right. And so what I like to do is have people sit with it, try it out for the week. You know, let yourself think about this and put like that hat on of what you envision your future to be like, what this option could be for you. And so put that hat on for the week, go ahead and live it out and think about that and then try on the other hat, go for it. Maybe it’s two days, three days you think about, okay, if my future looked like this, and then if you know, like I said, two to three, so maybe have a third one, put that hat on, try it out.

Your gut will guide you and will tell you. Whichever one you are the most excited about is the one that leads you. And so I think in order to understand what leads yourself will help you lead others because you’re connected with purpose. You’re connected with meaning, and you’re connected with what, with what drives you forward in leadership. And so I think at that moment, then that’s your gut saying, go for it. Now, this is also where blind sides come up and want to stop you because they’re freaking out on you. And they’re like, what are you doing? Like no way, like, are you kidding? Like my salary wouldn’t look the same or like, there’s no way I could pivot in this direction. Those are blind sides. That is not reality. The reality is if you have your basic needs met, then pushing past these blind sides is a mindset. So that’s where the work comes in around navigating some of these blind sides. But you now have an awareness of what you want to go after. So it’s now creating a commitment to yourself to building out these, this option or choice or goal for your life or future, and wearing that hat moving forward.

Jenn DeWall:

I feel like the expression that I’m thinking in my head is like, it’s only natural, of course, that you would have any level of fear that comes up. It’s okay.

Carla Romo:

We’re human. Yes. Unless I like to say, unless you’re a psychopath who cannot feel anything, even sociopaths can feel fear. So just want to put that out there that, you know, it’s totally normal, and the fear is a blind side, and that is, you know, there are little blind sides in different steps of what you’re overcoming. But having this awareness and willing to ground yourself in that option that leads you forward, that moves you forward, is amazing because now you have that awareness, and you, once you have the awareness, you can’t really go back.

Jenn DeWall:

Okay. So I’m going to mirror it back. Tell me if I got the process. Right. So initial piece is the awareness. Like what, like where do I want to go? And what potentially is holding me back? What would my life look like? Or my leadership style looks like it would be step two. And then I like giving yourself permission to just try, don’t make a decision, don’t run 110 miles per hour in that direction. Just maybe give short, incremental bites to try that out, see what you like, what you don’t like, what comes up for you, and then what?

You Have to See More Than Just Your End Goal

Carla Romo:

And then, and then once you try that, it’s then, okay, how do we move forward? How do we put together this plan? What are the next steps? Now I am not somebody who goes all out. Like we need to just get that goal and go after it. That’s actually like really how you don’t achieve goals is just focusing on the end goal. So that can actually dwindle your future and put a damper on it if you’re only focused on the end goal. So what I like to do is—

Jenn DeWall:

Tell me why! Because that’s a counterpoint, right? Some People might say, what do you mean? I go for the end goal? Where am I getting it wrong?

Carla Romo:

They’re like, what are you talking about? It is absolutely impossible. Unless your end goal is to go to the grocery store that day, get food, and come home. It is absolutely impossible to achieve your end goal in one day. And when you have that mindset, and you have the first moment of blindside, discouragement, or fear come up, that can set you back big time because the end goal all of a sudden feels impossible and so far away because it is impossible. You can’t achieve it just in one day or just in one moment. So the idea is to break down the goal into bits and pieces so that when you get the end goal, it’s not completing you. It’s about that. It’s as cliche as it sounds. It’s all about embracing the journey to that end goal, that you will feel happy. You will feel happy, and you’ll feel purpose. I mean, that’s the whole goal with this.

And so, you know, you, you take this end goal, and you chop it up in bits and pieces. So kind of like, I don’t I’ll picture, I like to always just like cakes and like funfetti cakes are totally my favorite here with buttercream frosting, domino confectionery, just sign up. Okay. So take this cake. And what you’re going to do is you’re just going to take apart every single piece of it until it is solid form flour, solid form, egg, you know, butter, sugar, whatever. Okay. Sprinkles. Cause it’s, you know, funfetti. So anyway, but you take all these bite-sized pieces, and you take apart the cake, and then you think to yourself, what do I need to focus on to put this cake together? So, okay. Do I need to make the icing yet? No, I really don’t need to focus on that, but I probably should start mixing the dry materials together. So that’s how you look at your plan. What do I need to do? What is the next step into making this awesome, delicious cake that I’m really excited to eat? So that’s really what you need to start focusing on is breaking down this goal into bite-sized pieces so that it is achievable. And also, look at it as one day at a time. I’m very big on that because that is actually what you can control is in one day. And that’s it.

Jenn DeWall:

It’s, again, only natural that we all want instant gratification. We all want it right away like that. Absolutely. Anyone that wouldn’t rather have their pain points solved or reach their ideal destination. Of course, we wanted that yesterday. That’s not, we know that, but yet I think we just forget that we forget that we have to put in the work that there are going to be perceived failures or missteps and even wins that aren’t necessarily going to pull us all the way, all the way to the finish line. And I think that’s great too, I guess, one of the things, cause sometimes it is easy for people when they look at their goal, they just look at this as, wow, this is such an overwhelming, I don’t know that path that I’m going to have to take to get there. And that can just be discouraging by the amount of work. And so I love just looking at it as what are all of the little micro components that are going to meet that goal. I think that’s such beautiful. I don’t know. It’s just helpful. Right? Because then we don’t absolutely think at once, which I know that I’m always overwhelmed by that. And that’s what my procrastination kicks in. Like why do anything if it means that it’s too overwhelming? Then I’m over here in my happy place. Like how could you die? So you have your goals, you have your pieces. I mean, what do you do when someone maybe feels like they hit a wall? Like how do you help them course-correct? Because I think that even though we understand that it happens, it’s still really very real that we might start to get discouraged. Is there any advice that you use with your clients when we feel like we have the ingredients put together, but then we still feel like we’ve maybe made a misstep or a perceived failure? How do you help them course-correct? To say it’s okay.

Mistakes Are Part of the Process

Carla Romo:

So it is super important to understand that missteps and blocks are part of the process. So set your expectations to bringing in and inviting these. It’s when we resist them that’s when it becomes problematic. Right. And those are our blind sides. Once again, popping up and manifesting in different ways in the process. But it’s really recognizing and saying, okay, so what is the block? What can I learn from this? And really defining what your success and your failure definitions are. Because you might feel, Oh, I failed. This is it. You know that this is the end all be all. I can’t. I can’t do this anymore. It’s over. And when you hit a block like that, it’s getting real and leveling with yourself. Okay. So this is my definition of failure. And the way that I actually like to look at failure is it’s not failure.

Carla Romo:

It’s just gathering information readjusting, and moving forward. So if you feel like you’ve hit your failure or your block, or you just feel like you’re procrastinating, this is actually an amazing point to be in. And it should be embraced a lot more instead of the idea of like, how do we avoid these? How do we like to dodge them? Because when you welcome them in, you are open to learning and gaining new information about yourself or the process that you’re in, in order to propel yourself forward. So it’s kind of like, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen those traveling rings that people go on and maybe if you’ve ever been in L.A., you’ve seen them on Venice beach, then people swing. So it’s like these rings on this like a jungle gym, adult jungle, gym, maybe kid jungle gym too. But you have to swing backward in order to swing forward.

Carla Romo:

Right. And it’s kind of like a Slingshot as well. If you’re like, what is she talking about? I don’t know what jungle gym rings. She’s saying think about it like a Slingshot. You have to pull it back in order to propel it forward. But once you pull it back and you release it, it just flies. Right? So think about that. When you get stuck, this is just your pulling back moment to make you Pat a pole further in the process. And so it’s embracing it, it’s welcoming it, and it’s allowing yourself to move through it. That is what’s important here.

Jenn DeWall:

I love it. You know, I think it’s important. The definitions of success, that one that has been a huge thing for me because I, you know, when I reflect on that, like my old definition of success was always like, everything needs to be done. Perfect. And everyone needs to be satisfied. Otherwise, it was a failure like that—my subconscious thing. And I, you know, until I really dug into it talking about awareness, I didn’t understand why I was so miserable. Even if you’ll where I would say from someone else’s perspective, they would say, Jenn, you did a great job. Or this was great. And in my head, I’d be like, no, I didn’t. And that’s, I think that’s such an important piece is that we don’t realize that we have these constructs of what success looks like, what that means, and that we can change it. I don’t. It doesn’t serve me to be a perfectionist because then I never have wins!

Carla Romo:

Absolutely. And a lot of leaders are perfectionists, right? I mean, that’s kind of the like thing. A lot of times, we need to get it right. And we need to move forward, and it all has to line up. And you know, that is a strength to an extent, but perfectionism can also kind of catch you up. Like you were just saying.

Jenn DeWall:

Gosh. So after, like, when you actually set this up, what would be your final thing? So, okay. You identify what it is, you know, where you need to go, you understand kind of those definitions of success. You break your goals into small parts, then what do you do?

Make Adjustments as You Go

Carla Romo:

Yeah. You just keep moving forward on your plan, and you readjust as according. So if you are okay, so you put, you understand your success, you understand your failure, then it’s sometimes two steps forward. One step back, two steps forward, one step back until you get to that goal. And I’m going to be real. It’s not really sexy, right. This idea of like having this, Oh, I finally made it to here, or I’m doing this now. Like yeah. Like, you know, I think actually I’m just gonna throw this out here too. Social media has given so many people unrealistic expectations. You see a title change on LinkedIn, and you’re like, Whoa, like, Oh my gosh, but you don’t see the work. You don’t see the ups. You don’t see the downs. You don’t see the Slingshot moments, right. That propelled these people forward. So I think a lot of this, too, is setting your expectations to what is a reality for yourself.

And at this moment, it’s like I said, continuing to push forward, readjusting as need be, but continuing and continuing and continuing. And when you get lost in that moment where you’re like, is it ever going to be over? Am I ever going to get there? Remind yourself back to what I work with my clients on in the very beginning. What is your purpose? And what is your meaning for that? And what got you excited? What drove you when you created this option or this goal for yourself to get to where you are at this moment? And so that’s really, I truly believe what it takes and eventually look, the goal will be done. I mean, you’ll achieve it. Let’s get real. You’re a leader. You’re not just here to like, hang out and do nothing. You’re the type of person that likes to see things through. So really push yourself to see this through.

Jenn DeWall:

Gosh, I love your expression of Slingshot moments because I feel like all of us probably could reflect and go back to periods of our life, where the world was. You know, we felt like we had just maybe failed, made an epic misstep. The world is ending, insert, whatever failure feels like for them. But really, that was just a slingshot moment because they likely have overcome it and then created something greater than what they ever thought. Like, I, I think about even my trajectory in corporate America because I, you know, it just, it wasn’t the greatest fit for me in what I was doing. And I was super driven. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to make an impact, and I was doing it in the business world, but in some ways, I wasn’t, and that looked like, Oh my gosh.

Because I attached so much of my worth to our profession, to my professional success that initially at the moment, it was really hard to see that as a Slingshot moment. But now, I wouldn’t be where I was today. If I didn’t go through that adversity, I might still be working in a job that I don’t love just because, you know, it was like, Oh, well, this works out fine enough. Like I might be a miserable kind of outside of work, but it’s a paycheck, and that’s a really good one. But no, these are just your moments where you have the opportunity to fail forward.

Carla Romo:

Absolutely. I love that failing forward. Yeah, totally.

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh. But that’s, it doesn’t mean it’s okay to be embarrassed. I guess if I’m probably vulnerable. I know when I failed, it felt really public to me because I attached a lot again, of my meaning to my professional success that I was, you know, I felt shame for not getting that next promotion or not getting to the next thing. And it’s not that, and you hit the nail on the head. We need to stop comparing. We need to stop comparing to where someone else is and just pay attention to those as Slingshot moments. Like, what is this, what am I being called to do differently? Or where is my passion really taking me that I might be resisting? Gosh, Carla, I love this.

Carla Romo:

I’m glad. I’m glad.

Jenn DeWall:

Because I just, I feel like, I guess what would you say to the person that maybe feels embarrassed? Cause I, I absolutely felt shame around not getting things right the first time not getting to that perfect level. And how do you work with people on, you know, kind of overcoming their own, I guess, feelings around their perceived failures? Do you have any special recommendations for that?

Feel Your Feelings

Carla Romo:

Absolutely, so number one is to feel your feelings. That’s how they pass and also to recognize the humanity that you can feel because when you feel, you’re able to move through, right? And when you try to compartmentalize your feelings, you actually can’t. You shut yourself off from happiness. You shut yourself off from joy when you’re trying to shut yourself off from shame or embarrassment. So allow those to come in. Because like I said with the Slingshot moment is that that might feel like it’s pulling you back, but really it’s gaining momentum to push you forward. So I even can say for myself, I mean, I have had tons of Slingshot moments in life. And even when I decided to leave my world and television and entertainment in Los Angeles and start my business, one of my biggest fears was if I fail, everybody will know I left this career that was stable, and I was growing in, and you know, whatever for something that just, wow. Yeah, she couldn’t even make it right. But that’s my own internal dialogue. That was a reflection of the work I needed to do even in that step in life.

Those were my blind sides coming out. Those were those, you know, peeling back the layers of the onion. And what does that attach to you? Okay. That thought is attached to the ego. It’s attached to my self-worth. And then once I was actually able to push through that and say, you know what, here’s my goal. I’m breaking it down. I’m trusting the process. Everything settled out for me. So really, when you’re going through that moment, allow yourself to be human, allow yourself to feel through those emotions. And then also give yourself a chance to be able to say, okay, what are other options here? What else? Where else can I go? Because it can get to that tunnel vision like you were saying, kind of that like you’re stuck there, that’s it that black and white thinking, but life is not in black and white. Right? So we see color. And so, right there, what are the colors in your life? Where can you pivot? Where can you move? And if you are a leader, you have these skills already within.

Jenn DeWall:

Carla, what would be your closing advice for anyone that’s trying to push past their blind sides? I love that you’ve given them, you know, the perspective of like really, what are you not going after in life right now? Because it’s likely something that you can absolutely change just by creating awareness. What would be your final advice to someone that might be struggling with this?

Carla Romo:

I want to know what drives you in life. And maybe this is your imagination, right? Like you’re like, well, I’m not in this current role. So I, you know, that doesn’t drive me, but what is it that drives you? What is it that gets you excited? Okay. It could be a genre thing, right? Like I have a client who was working in finance and is switching over now to working in the dark world of some aspect because that’s where she finds meaning. That’s where she finds purpose. And so it’s asking yourself right now, what is it that drives you? What gives you purpose? What gives you meaning whatever that resistance is right there that you’re feeling. When all of a sudden you have the thought, you get excited and then you think, Oh, I don’t know. That’s your blind side.

Jenn DeWall:

Gosh, I love that. I, there was one coach that I worked with. I was telling you about her. She always gave the advice, make your “why” bigger than your “but.”

Carla Romo:

Woo. I love it. Yes.

Jenn DeWall:

I understand like your why then every, but that you have, you’re like, but, but this is what we need to do this. I thought that was such fun- It was a funny way to say that.

Carla Romo:

That is fun! I like that. Yeah.

How to Get in Touch with Carla

Jenn DeWall:

How can people get in touch with you? And like, we didn’t get to go in like, tell me how can people get in touch with you? How can they work with you?

Carla Romo:

Absolutely. So if you are looking for one-on-one coaching, you can go to my website, CarlaRomo.com. If you want some, just feel good inspiration. You can check me out on Instagram @IamCarlaRomo.

Jenn DeWall:

Awesome. Carla, thank you so much for our tips on how we can overcome blind sides, so We can create our leadership success. It was great to have you on the podcast today.

Carla Romo:

Thank you so much, Jenn.

Jenn DeWall:

Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast with Carla Romo. If you want to connect with Carla, you can go to CarlaRomo.com, or https://www.instagram.com/iamcarlaromo/. You can find her there for speaking for coaching, and you can also find her book. And of course, if you know someone that might be struggling with overcoming their own blind sides, share this episode with them. This is how we can all get our successes by sharing valuable tools and experiences to help each other thrive. And if you enjoyed this episode personally, don’t forget to leave us a review on your favorite podcast. Streaming service stay connected with us at Crestcom.com. You can find on our events schedule that we do monthly webinars on a variety of different leadership topics. And you can also stay current on our newest podcasts! Until next time.